This won’t be exciting for anyone reading it, but I’m going to write it anyways – because it is my birthday.

This past year has been exciting, terrifying and adventurous to say the least. Here are my top takeaways as I enter my 38th year.

1. The non-traditional family. I do not have a great relationship with my family, which is partly my fault and partly their fault. What I have realized in the last year is that we all have a choice. I choose my friends, my dogs and my husband. All of you have loved me regardless of my aggressive and abrasive personality. Whether I am angry, sad or reclusive – you are always there for me. From girl trips to birthday dinners to family dinners to just grieving with me – you are my family.
2. Travel. I made a promise to myself that I would travel extensively beginning in 2015 and I have kept that promise. From Spain to the Bahamas to Puerto Rico to a cruise to Mexico to Europe. As I sit here writing this blog looking out at Huddersfield, England I am filled with gratitude and happiness. Life is short, embrace it and don’t let anything stop you.
3. I love my independence. I chose not to have children or to take my husband’s last name. It may seem trivial to some or crazy to others. The fact is, I love Bode, my dogs and my career. If you don’t understand that or judge me for it, then screw you. Everyone has the right to make their own decisions and you should not have to defend your life choices.
4. Let them in. I lost my beloved Murphy this past year and it was the hardest thing I have ever endured. He was my everything, my best friend, my shadow…it is hard to even write about it now. I have never grieved so openly but with grief comes clarity. Those that accept you in the hardest of life’s moments are those you should share your life with. Say thank you, tell them you love them and grieve with them. You will come out on the other side.
5. Self-reflection is key. I have made a lot of mistakes, acted impulsively and hurt people in the process. Recognizing your faults and your strengths will only help you grow. Never be afraid or unwilling to apologize and to talk about your weaknesses, you will realize they can be turned into strengths if you are willing to listen and reflect.
6. Say thank you. I am incredibly blessed and I try my best to show this through my actions. I am still incredibly uncomfortable with affection and personal attention. This often comes off as aloof, I just would rather focus on 834 or you. So, I say thank you to all of you who have taken the time to send a card, wish me a happy birthday, send flowers and continue to reach out even if I go radio silent.
7. Do what scares you. Get up on that stage and talk about failure, admit you don’t know everything and push yourself to do what terrifies you. There is a lesson to be learned in everything you do. Growth happens in the scariest moments of your life.
8. Courage is hard. Doing the right thing and making the tough decisions takes courage. Courage means you won’t always be liked or understood, but to me it means I am making the right decision for my business and my life.
9. Owning a business is the hardest and best thing I have ever done. Hiring and working with the brightest people in my industry is humbling and fulfilling. My 834 team is amazing and I hope each of you knows that – being a boss isn’t always fun and you definitely won’t be the most popular but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

38 is going to kick ass and that is because of all of you. Thank you for making 37 my best year.

P.S. To my sister and brother – thanks for loving me through all of those really awkward and angry stages…and the current ones.

I was reading a recent Inc Magazine article and they interviewed multiple entrepreneurs such as Reddit, IPSY, SLACK and Shark Tank about how they spend their day.

I thought, what a great idea! I will share a day in the life of a business owner…me.

9:00 p.m.
Go to bed. Sit in bed and check social networks then open WordBrain to remind myself how stupid words are and then send last minute emails to drive my staff insane. I then set my alarm for 6:00 a.m. to get up early to workout.

10:30 p.m. – 6:00 a.m.
Alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m., hit snooze until 7:30 a.m. Roll out of bed and head to the Keurig. Head upstairs to my dressing room to make myself into a human. Yell at Alexa to read me the news. Instantly become depressed from the news. Leave to make the 4 minute drive to work.

8:00 a.m.
Drink 2 cups of coffee and check in with the team. Talk about my dogs for 15 minutes until everyone stops listening to me. I then head into my office and check emails.

9:00 a.m. – 10:30 a.m.
Outline items that need to be completed that day, check Basecamp (our project management system) to see what staff is working on and if there are any pressing deadlines.

10:30 a.m.
Team check-in. Everyone discusses top 3 priorities to ensure we are all on the same page and nothing gets dropped.

11:30 a.m.
Realize I am dying of hunger. Ask the team what they are in the mood for, discuss for the next hour then order nothing.

1:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Client meetings, either onsite or at 834 offices. Make 10th pot of coffee.

3:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.
Feel nauseous from all the coffee I inhaled, begin drinking water. Write several blogs, answer emails, check on public relations activities and think about happy hour. Begin texting everyone to see who will drink with me.

5:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.
If no networking event that evening, go home. Drink a bottle of wine and work on multiple projects.

8:00 p.m.
Elmira the dogs…all 4 of them.

9:00 p.m.
Hmm…I think I might read my book on the Third Reich to switch up my routine. A little light reading before bedtime.

Before you go reading up on other ‘successful’ people’s routines, remember that what works for them may not work for you. They might get up at 4:00 a.m. to run 15 miles, clean their house, meditate or save the world…but who cares? We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and not give a shit what other people think.

*This was written as complete satire and truth.

Entire sections of bookstores are dedicated to self-help and self-improvement. Many individuals dedicate hours and hours to the pursuit of happiness. They turn the focus inward and change their own behavior and habits and focus on the betterment of themselves. A recent Fast Company article contradicts this by stating that other people are the key to our happiness.

….Since we know that it’s our relationships—particularly with our bosses and colleagues—that determine how happy and successful we are as our careers progress, it may be worth asking some new questions. Instead of, “How can I improve?” the better question might be, “How can I start seeing more of the good in people, more often?”

In other words, trust that people have the best intentions, find the good in people and you will benefit. Seems simple, right? However, we are taught from an early age to be wary of strangers, keep to ourselves, don’t bother others and generally view situations with suspicion.

How do you shift this way of thinking? Practice. When you receive an email from a co-worker, friend, client or colleague don’t assume the worst and interpret a tone that isn’t there. Assume positive intent. See the good in people.

Research on optimism—including assuming the best of others—almost universally shows its benefits for success and satisfaction in both work and life.

By believing in the good of others, we ourselves will find happiness. Did I just sound like the Dalai Lama or what?

This past weekend, I attended the West Point gala, Founder’s Day. The event is a celebration of Michigan graduates of the academy, as well as those who have just been accepted.

This year’s speaker was Colonel Greg Gadson of the United States Army and ’89 West Point graduate. To say his story is incredible is an understatement. On the night of May 7, 2007, while returning from a memorial service for two soldiers from his brigade, he lost both his legs and severely injured his right arm to a roadside bomb in Baghdad.

At the event he spoke on the power of a support network and never giving up. He then called on stage, his best friend, a fellow West Point grad who is battling ALS.

My point in sharing all of this with you is to remind all of us that regardless of adversity and challenges, there is always someone who has overcome more or is going through the unspeakable.

Some Monday morning fodder for all of us.

Also enjoy this photo of me completely fangirling all over Colonel Gadson. Thank you sir, for tolerating my babbling and weirdness.

Colonel Greg Gadson and his biggest fan

P.S. The event was planned by Michigan’s own, Jon Tellier of JetCo Solutions. Well done!

This past weekend was emotionally charged for a large portion of America and the world. There is no doubt that our nation is in a transition period and we have a choice in how we react.

This reminds me of the endless decisions that have to be made by a business owner on a regular basis. We can choose to approach with negativity or positivity. My goal this year is to look at all decisions as an opportunity for 834 and that how I react is up to me.

As we start out this new week, I think it is important to remember that when faced with opposition we have a choice and it starts with us and our actions. Choose empathy and respond with kindness. You will never make everyone happy, but you can always take pride in how you respond.

Deep thoughts on this Monday morning.

In a previous post I wrote about adapting to change and surviving it. This morning I stumbled upon an article in Inc. that talked about the questions you should ask yourself prior to making a difficult decision. Give the article a read here.

Everyday we are faced with decisions, big or small and the course of action we take has repercussions, good or bad. It can be as difficult as deciding whether to fire someone or it can be as easy as choosing what to have for lunch.

Inc. lists the following questions to ask yourself prior to making a major decision:

1. What advice would I give someone else in this situation? How often do we tell  friends or colleagues to go for it and take that risk…but then balk when we are in a similar situation? If you are going to give that advice, then you sure as hell better be able to do that yourself. Life is all about taking risks and sometimes that requires us to move out of our comfort zone.
2. How do you feel? My gut is my best decision maker probably 7 times out of 10. Sometimes you just know a situation isn’t right or something feels off. Don’t ignore that feeling. Pause and evaluate, you will usually find a very logical reason that supports your gut.
3. What if you have no choice? I usually imagine the worst possible scenario and then build a plan based on that. What route has the best outcome? Play them both out in your head and then make your decision based on the anticipated results.

No matter how you approach a decision, it isn’t easy but avoiding making one is even worse.

Source: Inc., Justin Bariso

This past week, Jimmy Lab, 834’s chief happiness officer decided to wander off and leave his humans completely panicked. Thanks to the power of social media, he was returned safe and sound several hours later.

When we first noticed he was missing, we set out on foot through our neighborhood to search for him. If you know Jimmy, you know he is an old dog and we just didn’t think he would get very far. Clearly we were wrong.

The very next thing I did was call 834’s digital director and told her what had happened. She proceeded to take the following steps:

1. Social media. The first thing she did was post to her personal FB page and 834’s own page. This resulted in over 83 shares and multiple individual post.
2. Team834. The troops were rallied through Gchat and team 834 sent out emails, phone calls, tweets, Facebook posts and everything in between. 834’s creative director Julie, even hopped in her car at 10:00 p.m. at night and drove through Creston and handed out business cards to every one she saw.
3. Group message. A message was sent out through Facebook messenger to every dog lover and Jimmy lover to spread the message.
4. Craigslist. A post went up on Craigslist, Reddit, online bulletin boards, etc.
5. Facebook groups. There are several other crazy dog people like myself that belong to dog lover and lost/found dog groups on Facebook. Jimmy’s picture was posted all over the interwebs and it was amazing.

Jimmy was soon returned to us, as a couple found him wandering a busy intersection outside a neighborhood bar. Once they got him to their home, their neighbor let them know that she thought he was the dog all over social media. I received a call from this wonderful couple, cried tears of joy and thanked God for the power of social media.

Jimmy’s tag had fallen off and if it wasn’t for everyone spreading his picture and story we might never have gotten him back.

Social media was meant to be used for good and in this case, it returned our Jimmy to us (after he got a Guiness and some Sheperd’s Pie from Graydon’s Crossing).

I like Pina Coladas and pools.

Cruising is pretty cool, I learned a lot. For example, you can get sick of sitting by a pool 7 days in a row for hours at a time sipping a Pina Colada. Besides that, I contemplated the following 4 items, a continuation of the 3 from Tuesday.

1. Sometimes you need to be bored. As I was sitting at the pool drinking my 5th Pina Colada, I thought to myself – what do I do now? The motion sickness patch I had on was making me see double when I tried to work or read (I think God was forcing me to take a break) so I had no choice but to just sit there. I think for most business owners or professionals in general, it is hard to sit still and just think. We are not always comfortable being alone with our thoughts. Oftentimes, this is when our breakthroughs or epiphanies happen. Stop squirming. Sit still and just be.
2. Self-reflection is imperative. Because I was at the pool pretty much every day (did I mention how tan I am?), I had a lot of time to think about me. Yuck. How can I be better as a person? What are my major weaknesses? How can I be a better business owner and boss? Self-reflection should make you uncomfortable. I realized that I need to take a deep breath, step back and think before acting, saying or writing. I am too often moved to be pessimistic versus optimistic, so I am challenging myself to look at the positive when addressing the negative.
3. Read, read, read. This was hard for me to do, considering the double vision I was experiencing but one of the reasons I love getting away is because I can immerse myself in reading. I wasn’t reading business books, I was reading fiction by writers, Lee Childs and James Patterson. Giving your brain a break by using your imagination will allow you to look at ongoing issues in a different way, hopefully ending in a creative solution.
4. 

   These people make vacation fun.

   Travel. I love traveling, I hate the getting there and getting back part (this is where the optimism will come in handy), but I love seeing new places, people and taking in different cultures and history. We have so much to learn from others and history. Perspective is a wonderful thing, it allows us to look at our life through a different lens. Life is pretty great after all (optimism).

What is your favorite part about traveling? When you come back how does it change your life daily?

Also, Has anyone worn the motion sickness patch before? I swear I am going through withdrawal…is that normal?

As I got ready to attend my 3rd or 4th event this week, I thought – what the hell keeps me motivated to attend all of these business events?

Wine.

At the end of a long work day, one of the last things you want to do is go be cordial, charming and attentive at a business event. You can stop laughing now, (those that know me)…I can be charming. I know the value of it – connections, strengthening relationships, brand awareness, business development and community involvement…but it doesn’t make me any less tired. Who doesn’t want to throw on sweats, take off their make-up and Elmyra 4 dogs?

You wanna know what I do love at the end of the day? Wine, filled to the brim with ice. That is what pushes me over the hurdle at 5:00 p.m. to keep going, knowing that my reward is ice-cold red wine.

I am not afraid to admit that my motivation is wine, for a lot of things:

1. Award events
2. Luncheons
3. Breakfast seminars
4. In-law gatherings
5. Family reunions
6. Breakfast
7. Board meetings
8. Staff meetings
9. Client meetings
10. Date night

I jest, or do I? Who cares what your motivation is, get out there and network – drunk or sober. Also, just try red wine with ice in it…don’t mock it until you throw some ice cubes in.

In the last week, our country has experienced a lot of tragedy. From the mass shooting in Orlando to the 2 year old being attacked by an alligator to who knows what else. In all of this social media often becomes the tool/platform/stage for humans to express their feelings whether filled with love or spewing hate.

That is the problem with social media. Just this morning I had a text conversation with my sister-in-law about the poor family at Disney World that watched their son be dragged away. What used to be conversations we had around our kitchen table or with a circle of friends is now amplified through social media. People take to Twitter, Facebook, blogs and more to place blame, give advice or call for action. I think my sister-in-laws text to me, says it best.

“Social media is out-of-control. Why does everyone feel the need to hate so much and be so naive to the fact that things like this could happen to anyone.”

It could happen to anyone. Anyone.

I don’t have a solution, or advice to give but I do hope that all of us will take pause and ask ourselves “What if it happened to me?”

Let’s do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. It doesn’t get much simpler than that.