Entire sections of bookstores are dedicated to self-help and self-improvement. Many individuals dedicate hours and hours to the pursuit of happiness. They turn the focus inward and change their own behavior and habits and focus on the betterment of themselves. A recent Fast Company article contradicts this by stating that other people are the key to our happiness.

….Since we know that it’s our relationships—particularly with our bosses and colleagues—that determine how happy and successful we are as our careers progress, it may be worth asking some new questions. Instead of, “How can I improve?” the better question might be, “How can I start seeing more of the good in people, more often?”

In other words, trust that people have the best intentions, find the good in people and you will benefit. Seems simple, right? However, we are taught from an early age to be wary of strangers, keep to ourselves, don’t bother others and generally view situations with suspicion.

How do you shift this way of thinking? Practice. When you receive an email from a co-worker, friend, client or colleague don’t assume the worst and interpret a tone that isn’t there. Assume positive intent. See the good in people.

Research on optimism—including assuming the best of others—almost universally shows its benefits for success and satisfaction in both work and life.

By believing in the good of others, we ourselves will find happiness. Did I just sound like the Dalai Lama or what?

This past weekend, I attended the West Point gala, Founder’s Day. The event is a celebration of Michigan graduates of the academy, as well as those who have just been accepted.

This year’s speaker was Colonel Greg Gadson of the United States Army and ’89 West Point graduate. To say his story is incredible is an understatement. On the night of May 7, 2007, while returning from a memorial service for two soldiers from his brigade, he lost both his legs and severely injured his right arm to a roadside bomb in Baghdad.

At the event he spoke on the power of a support network and never giving up. He then called on stage, his best friend, a fellow West Point grad who is battling ALS.

My point in sharing all of this with you is to remind all of us that regardless of adversity and challenges, there is always someone who has overcome more or is going through the unspeakable.

Some Monday morning fodder for all of us.

Also enjoy this photo of me completely fangirling all over Colonel Gadson. Thank you sir, for tolerating my babbling and weirdness.

Colonel Greg Gadson and his biggest fan

P.S. The event was planned by Michigan’s own, Jon Tellier of JetCo Solutions. Well done!

This past weekend was emotionally charged for a large portion of America and the world. There is no doubt that our nation is in a transition period and we have a choice in how we react.

This reminds me of the endless decisions that have to be made by a business owner on a regular basis. We can choose to approach with negativity or positivity. My goal this year is to look at all decisions as an opportunity for 834 and that how I react is up to me.

As we start out this new week, I think it is important to remember that when faced with opposition we have a choice and it starts with us and our actions. Choose empathy and respond with kindness. You will never make everyone happy, but you can always take pride in how you respond.

Deep thoughts on this Monday morning.

In a previous post I wrote about adapting to change and surviving it. This morning I stumbled upon an article in Inc. that talked about the questions you should ask yourself prior to making a difficult decision. Give the article a read here.

Everyday we are faced with decisions, big or small and the course of action we take has repercussions, good or bad. It can be as difficult as deciding whether to fire someone or it can be as easy as choosing what to have for lunch.

Inc. lists the following questions to ask yourself prior to making a major decision:

1. What advice would I give someone else in this situation? How often do we tell  friends or colleagues to go for it and take that risk…but then balk when we are in a similar situation? If you are going to give that advice, then you sure as hell better be able to do that yourself. Life is all about taking risks and sometimes that requires us to move out of our comfort zone.
2. How do you feel? My gut is my best decision maker probably 7 times out of 10. Sometimes you just know a situation isn’t right or something feels off. Don’t ignore that feeling. Pause and evaluate, you will usually find a very logical reason that supports your gut.
3. What if you have no choice? I usually imagine the worst possible scenario and then build a plan based on that. What route has the best outcome? Play them both out in your head and then make your decision based on the anticipated results.

No matter how you approach a decision, it isn’t easy but avoiding making one is even worse.

Source: Inc., Justin Bariso

This past week, Jimmy Lab, 834’s chief happiness officer decided to wander off and leave his humans completely panicked. Thanks to the power of social media, he was returned safe and sound several hours later.

When we first noticed he was missing, we set out on foot through our neighborhood to search for him. If you know Jimmy, you know he is an old dog and we just didn’t think he would get very far. Clearly we were wrong.

The very next thing I did was call 834’s digital director and told her what had happened. She proceeded to take the following steps:

1. Social media. The first thing she did was post to her personal FB page and 834’s own page. This resulted in over 83 shares and multiple individual post.
2. Team834. The troops were rallied through Gchat and team 834 sent out emails, phone calls, tweets, Facebook posts and everything in between. 834’s creative director Julie, even hopped in her car at 10:00 p.m. at night and drove through Creston and handed out business cards to every one she saw.
3. Group message. A message was sent out through Facebook messenger to every dog lover and Jimmy lover to spread the message.
4. Craigslist. A post went up on Craigslist, Reddit, online bulletin boards, etc.
5. Facebook groups. There are several other crazy dog people like myself that belong to dog lover and lost/found dog groups on Facebook. Jimmy’s picture was posted all over the interwebs and it was amazing.

Jimmy was soon returned to us, as a couple found him wandering a busy intersection outside a neighborhood bar. Once they got him to their home, their neighbor let them know that she thought he was the dog all over social media. I received a call from this wonderful couple, cried tears of joy and thanked God for the power of social media.

Jimmy’s tag had fallen off and if it wasn’t for everyone spreading his picture and story we might never have gotten him back.

Social media was meant to be used for good and in this case, it returned our Jimmy to us (after he got a Guiness and some Sheperd’s Pie from Graydon’s Crossing).

I like Pina Coladas and pools.

Cruising is pretty cool, I learned a lot. For example, you can get sick of sitting by a pool 7 days in a row for hours at a time sipping a Pina Colada. Besides that, I contemplated the following 4 items, a continuation of the 3 from Tuesday.

1. Sometimes you need to be bored. As I was sitting at the pool drinking my 5th Pina Colada, I thought to myself – what do I do now? The motion sickness patch I had on was making me see double when I tried to work or read (I think God was forcing me to take a break) so I had no choice but to just sit there. I think for most business owners or professionals in general, it is hard to sit still and just think. We are not always comfortable being alone with our thoughts. Oftentimes, this is when our breakthroughs or epiphanies happen. Stop squirming. Sit still and just be.
2. Self-reflection is imperative. Because I was at the pool pretty much every day (did I mention how tan I am?), I had a lot of time to think about me. Yuck. How can I be better as a person? What are my major weaknesses? How can I be a better business owner and boss? Self-reflection should make you uncomfortable. I realized that I need to take a deep breath, step back and think before acting, saying or writing. I am too often moved to be pessimistic versus optimistic, so I am challenging myself to look at the positive when addressing the negative.
3. Read, read, read. This was hard for me to do, considering the double vision I was experiencing but one of the reasons I love getting away is because I can immerse myself in reading. I wasn’t reading business books, I was reading fiction by writers, Lee Childs and James Patterson. Giving your brain a break by using your imagination will allow you to look at ongoing issues in a different way, hopefully ending in a creative solution.
4. 

   These people make vacation fun.

   Travel. I love traveling, I hate the getting there and getting back part (this is where the optimism will come in handy), but I love seeing new places, people and taking in different cultures and history. We have so much to learn from others and history. Perspective is a wonderful thing, it allows us to look at our life through a different lens. Life is pretty great after all (optimism).

What is your favorite part about traveling? When you come back how does it change your life daily?

Also, Has anyone worn the motion sickness patch before? I swear I am going through withdrawal…is that normal?

As I got ready to attend my 3rd or 4th event this week, I thought – what the hell keeps me motivated to attend all of these business events?

Wine.

At the end of a long work day, one of the last things you want to do is go be cordial, charming and attentive at a business event. You can stop laughing now, (those that know me)…I can be charming. I know the value of it – connections, strengthening relationships, brand awareness, business development and community involvement…but it doesn’t make me any less tired. Who doesn’t want to throw on sweats, take off their make-up and Elmyra 4 dogs?

You wanna know what I do love at the end of the day? Wine, filled to the brim with ice. That is what pushes me over the hurdle at 5:00 p.m. to keep going, knowing that my reward is ice-cold red wine.

I am not afraid to admit that my motivation is wine, for a lot of things:

1. Award events
2. Luncheons
3. Breakfast seminars
4. In-law gatherings
5. Family reunions
6. Breakfast
7. Board meetings
8. Staff meetings
9. Client meetings
10. Date night

I jest, or do I? Who cares what your motivation is, get out there and network – drunk or sober. Also, just try red wine with ice in it…don’t mock it until you throw some ice cubes in.

In the last week, our country has experienced a lot of tragedy. From the mass shooting in Orlando to the 2 year old being attacked by an alligator to who knows what else. In all of this social media often becomes the tool/platform/stage for humans to express their feelings whether filled with love or spewing hate.

That is the problem with social media. Just this morning I had a text conversation with my sister-in-law about the poor family at Disney World that watched their son be dragged away. What used to be conversations we had around our kitchen table or with a circle of friends is now amplified through social media. People take to Twitter, Facebook, blogs and more to place blame, give advice or call for action. I think my sister-in-laws text to me, says it best.

“Social media is out-of-control. Why does everyone feel the need to hate so much and be so naive to the fact that things like this could happen to anyone.”

It could happen to anyone. Anyone.

I don’t have a solution, or advice to give but I do hope that all of us will take pause and ask ourselves “What if it happened to me?”

Let’s do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. It doesn’t get much simpler than that.

I love reading. It is my favorite thing to do, besides work. I love delving into historical nonfiction by authors such as Stephen Ambrose, Erik Larson and Nathaniel Philbrick. Reading books on WWI, WWII, Vietnam, The Cold War, etc. have given me a true appreciation on how far our country has come and the sacrifices made before my time. There is just something about holding a book, the smell of the pages and the satisfaction you get with each page turned. Yeah, I realize I am a dork but at least I am a well-read one.

This blog isn’t specific to PR, Marketing or Small Business but it is focused on education as it relates to history. It was really hard to narrow down my picks, but here are my top 5 in the historical nonfiction category (don’t worry historical fiction is next week). Pick up one of these books before a vacation and learn something while relaxing. It is the only way I don’t feel guilty for not working.

1. 13 Hours: The Inside Account of What Really Happened In Benghazi: This is not a political book, although it will make you mad. It is the story told from the eyes of those one the ground defending Americans that weren’t supposed to be there. Told by the 6 men who protected the Americans with devastating consequences. 13 HOURS presents, for the first time ever, the true account of the events of September 11, 2012, when terrorists attacked the US State Department Special Mission Compound and a nearby CIA station called the Annex in Benghazi, Libya. A team of six American security operators fought to repel the attackers and protect the Americans stationed there. Those men went beyond the call of duty, performing extraordinary acts of courage and heroism, to avert tragedy on a much larger scale. This is their personal account, never before told, of what happened during the thirteen hours of that now-infamous attack.
2. Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania : Pretty much any book by Erik Larson is phenomenal. What I love about his books is the way he weaves a story together, by researching, connecting all the dots and finding little known details to share with readers. On May 1, 1915, with WWI entering its tenth month, a luxury ocean liner as richly appointed as an English country house sailed out of New York, bound for Liverpool, carrying a record number of children and infants. The passengers were surprisingly at ease, even though Germany had declared the seas around Britain to be a war zone. For months, German U-boats had brought terror to the North Atlantic.Gripping and important, Dead Wake captures the sheer drama and emotional power of a disaster whose intimate details and true meaning have long been obscured by history.
3. In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex: Most everyone recognizes this story because of Chris Hemsworth. Yep, the book got made into a movie and cast a super hot guy to play the main character. This book by Nathaniel Philbrick gives readers a glimpse into life on Nantucket where whale hunting was the norm and sailors would be gone for years in pursuit of blubber. In the Heart of the Sea tells perhaps the greatest sea story ever. Philbrick interweaves his account of this extraordinary ordeal of ordinary men with a wealth of whale lore and with a brilliantly detailed portrait of the lost, unique community of Nantucket whalers. Impeccably researched and beautifully told, the book delivers the ultimate portrait of man against nature, drawing on a remarkable range of archival and modern sources, including a long-lost account by the ship’s cabin boy. At once a literary companion and a page-turner that speaks to the same issues of class, race, and man’s relationship to nature that permeate the works of Melville, In the Heart of the Sea will endure as a vital work of American history.
4. Band of Brothers: E Company, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne from Normandy to Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest:  The 101st were the special forces of their time, they took the hard assignments and they made a lot of sacrifices along the way. The true account from the men still living will hit you hard. As good a rifle company as any, Easy Company, 506th Airborne Division, US Army, kept getting tough assignments–responsible for everything from parachuting into France early D-Day morning to the capture of Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest at Berchtesgaden. In “Band of Brothers,” Ambrose tells of the men in this brave unit who fought, went hungry, froze & died, a company that took 150% casualties & considered the Purple Heart a badge of office. Drawing on hours of interviews with survivors as well as the soldiers’ journals & letters, Stephen Ambrose recounts the stories, often in the men’s own words, of these American heroes.
5.  See No Evil: The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA’s War on Terrorism: The book, written by Robert Baer, a former CIA operative, gives readers a glimpse into intelligence gathering and the infuriating politics behind it.  A veteran case officer in the CIA’s Directorate of Operations in the Middle East, Baer witnessed the rise of terrorism first hand and the CIA’s inadequate response to it, leading to the attacks of September 11, 2001. This riveting book is both an indictment of an agency that lost its way and an unprecedented look at the roots of modern terrorism, and includes a new afterword in which Baer speaks out about the American war on terrorism and its profound implications throughout the Middle East.

Let me know what you think of my picks. Is there a book that should be added to the list? Drop it in the comments below.

This past week I moved an entire house, 4 dogs and a husband.

I came to several realizations while packing, unpacking and drinking multiple bottles of wine.

1. Life is short. Like everything else in my life, I set completely unrealistic expectations and then drive myself and everyone else around me crazy trying to meet them. We bought the house on March 11th, we gutted it, demoed and renovated it from top to bottom in 2 months and 6 days. Why? Because I am impatient and want everything yesterday. Life is too damn short to be so singularly focused on one thing that you can’t see past yourself and how everything else is being impacted. My advice? Step back, take a deep breath, drink some wine and call a trusted confidant that will tell you what a moron you are. Everything we do has a ripple effect and being too shortsighted to see the bigger impact of what you are doing will eventually come back and bite you in the ass. On the bright side, I have become much handier and am contemplating a second business laying flooring.
2. Why do we have so much shit? Does anyone really need 4 crockpots, 4 vacuums and 4 dogs (kidding on the last one). It amazes me the amount of crap people (me) accumulate throughout life. To be clear, I am not just talking physical but emotional shit. I filled box after box after box of stuff that hadn’t been touched in years and it felt good to give it away. Seriously, let it go (Frozen is in your head now isn’t it?) – just dump it. It is not doing anyone any good.
3. Take a deep breath. Do you think anyone cares if you renovate a house in 2 months or complete your entire to-do list in a day? We get so focused on one thing and accomplishing that one thing that we completely paralyze ourselves in all other aspects of life. It will sometimes take me all day to make my stupid to-do list because once I write it down, I must do it right away!  Just chill…step away from whatever you are doing and refocus.

Isn’t it funny how something as mundane as moving can provide such insight into other aspects of your life? Does anyone need a crockpot?