The worst bosses I ever had…were women. I know I am not alone, many share the same experiences. These experiences have driven me to be a better leader and to cultivate opportunities for my employees that I never had. As a business owner (regardless of my gender), I need to live by example.

When reflecting back on my worst bosses, I realized they did teach me valuable leadership lessons.

1. Be transparent. By being clear with expectations for each role in your company, your employees know what is expected of them. Share with them the vision and 1 year, 3 year and 10 year goals. Understanding they are a part of something bigger, drives them to contribute in a more strategic way.
2. Support professional growth. When an employee grows professionally, the company benefits. Provide opportunities for community engagement, leadership training and more. We work with our employees to develop a professional development plan that we support as a firm.
3. Be intentional with culture. You want employees to look forward to coming to work each day. We purposefully build team bonding into our schedule – whether it is Friday Sangria or a BBQ at my house to share an updated company strategy to working on a patio for the afternoon. Employees work hard, reward them with some flexibility and fun.
4. Lead by example. This is by far the most important. We have all had those bosses that tells us one thing and do another. While I am out of the office a lot, I make it a priority to attend our team meetings, bonding sessions and hit deadlines.

Use your past ‘bad boss’ situations to drive yourself to be a better leader. Sometimes our worst experiences can be our best education.

I was labeled a pessimist the other day and my first reaction was to be defensive. Let’s be honest, pessimism is not viewed favorably; we are considered the Eeyores of the world, which is associated with negativity.

Side note: Someone had to be a pessimist in that group. Pooh had no common sense, Tigger was rash and reactive in his decision making and Piglet was terrified of his own shadow. They probably should have given Eeyore a little more credit.

Being a pessimist, that’s right I’ll admit it, has allowed me to succeed as a business owner. I do not walk around singing show tunes, I have a serious case of RBF (resting bitch face) and past bosses have called me abrasive and pushy. All of this is true, although I do occasionally hum the Greatest Showman soundtrack, and I am not going to apologize for it.

The way I approach a lot of situations in the business world are grounded in my pessimistic tendencies and have built a successful foundation for 8THIRTYFOUR.

1. I always analyze the shit out of everything. I overthink every interaction, situation, communication…and it has made me very intuitive when faced with difficult decisions. I notice everything…everything.
2. I hope for the best and plan for the worst. Running a business is really, really hard and it is a journey full of constant twists and turns – you have to plan for the unexpected. You also need to roll with the punches, which is not something us pessimists do well.
3. My self-awareness is off the charts. I take criticism well and it has made me a better boss and colleague. I internalize, overthink it and at times make myself sick over it…but the process is well-worth the results.

While pessimism has served me well, it needs to be in moderation. It cannot take over your life; use it to motivate you, but remember to take time to focus and reflect on the great things.

Lastly, don’t be ashamed to be a pessimist, own it and acknowledge the good that comes from it.

P.S. Being a pessimist is good for your health. 

The most important relationships in your business are the ones you already have. We spend so much time searching for the next big thing, new project, new client…we miss or take for granted what is right in front of us.

Since we started implementing the Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS) at 8THIRTYFOUR, we made it a priority to map out our processes and develop a scorecard in which we rate ourselves and our performance. A big part of that scorecard is client satisfaction, it is our goal to communicate continuously, effectively and responsively with our existing client base. If we are not keeping clients satisfied then we are not doing our job.

We make communication a priority, it is all about the relationship we have with our clients. Below are just a few of the items we incorporated into our process.

1. Quality content. This might not seem like such a big deal, but each month I sit down and I write a personal message to our clients and share agency, client, community and industry news. I handpick all of the content and then our crack designers, assemble it into an easy-to-read newsletter.
2. Customized reporting. We know that many of our our clients identified communication as a pain-point. In the past they had been burned by other companies that didn’t communicate their activities, results or priorities. Each month our clients receive a report that details our efforts for the last 30 days, how it aligns with their goals (they determine these in our initial strategy session), what the results were and what our recommendations moving forward for continued success. We then add some sweet graphs, a personal note and off it goes.
3. Party time. Quarterly we host an event at our office and invite 8THIRTYFOUR friends, family and clients to relax and enjoy whatever crazy theme we came up with. It is important we take the time to connect outside of work hours. By the way, mark your calendar for 8/3 at 4:00 p.m.
4. Be our guest. If you are following us on Instagram, you know we are out in the community almost every night of the week and we get lonely. We ask our clients to be our dates on a regular basis to galas, networking events, luncheons and more. If there is an event you are interested in, there is a good chance we are going.
5. Thank you. Sometimes a simple handwritten note speaks volumes. We take the time to tell our clients, in writing, what badasses they are.

We continually analyze and refine our process and are always open to suggestions. How do you communicate with your clients?

If you are not writing, do you even exist? Kidding…sort of. In the world of business ownership, you have to write – emails, blogs, notes, strategies, press releases, newsletters…the list goes on. No matter the audience you are trying to reach, the content needs to be engaging, fresh and relevant.

Here are a few tips to keep your content game sharp.

1. Get to the point. I say this to my brother all the time, is there a point to this story? We all like a good lead, but it shouldn’t be more than a paragraph to build up to the key takeaways.
2. Write first, edit it later…and sometimes ignore grammar rules. Great writing isn’t overly structured, you are not writing a research paper. You can start a sentence with a preposition and fragments are not always bad. Get it all out, then go back and reread and clean up.
3. Be passionate about it. Don’t write about something that bores the hell out of you. You won’t ever see me writing about accounting or cross-stitching (little known fact, I used to cross-stitch). You will see me writing about my small business journey, integrated communications, relationships and leadership.
4. Read up. I use Feedly to stay-up-to-date on marketing, business, public relations, digital, etc. news. It often sparks ideas for an article, blog or email.

The best piece of advice I have is, don’t overthink it. If it interests you, write about it. It doesn’t have to be rocket science, you are not curing cancer…you are writing from your perspective.

What ways do you stay motivated and inspired to write?

At some point in the lifespan of your small business, you have to grow up. What do I mean by this? You stop living in a reactive, chaotic environment and you become more strategic and structured.

When you first start your business, you are desperate for clients/customers. You don’t have the luxury of turning down business, you are just hoping to pay bills and keep the lights on.

Now that you are all grown up, it is time to start running your business that way.

1. Buyer personas are a great way to identify the best customers for your business. Buyer personas (sometimes referred to as marketing personas) are fictional, generalized representations of your ideal customers. Segment your audience by age group, interests and other relevant demographics. This provides great insight into buying decisions, behaviors etc. Once you understand this, you can target your marketing and the tools you use to reach your customers.
2. Internal processes need to be defined; as you add employees they need to be on the same page. How will services be delivered? How will you communicate with your clients/customers? Spend time outlining all the actions you take in a day and start creating systems. Set up a SOP (standard operating procedures) binder – this way as you grow, you maintain your culture and way of doing things.
3. Write up your job description; what do you want to do as the company grows? How will your position change? You will no longer be accounting, human resources, marketing…the list goes on. Your talents best lie in other areas of the business, you will need to let go to grow.

Evolving your business over the years is the most important task you will have, it is also the hardest. There will be frustrations, sleepless nights and so much change. It is all part of the journey, just know you are not alone. We are all experiencing it.

Why, as women, do we feel the need to be liked by everyone? Why are our feelings hurt when we aren’t included? Is high school still haunting us?

I won’t get into how society or our upbringings can play a role in our need to be accepted or loved. I will say this, knock it off! I went through this a few months back and reached out to several women who I thought I had offended (who, me?) and offered to grab coffee or connect on a more personal level. The responses I received made me realize that I don’t have to be liked or be best friends with these women. I respected them on a professional level but it did not need to ever move beyond that. Why was that so hard for me to accept?

It came up in conversation again the other day when another (professional/colleague) woman and I were commenting on the fact that we had known each other for over 10 years, but it was never on a personal level. Guess what…we were both FINE with that. We both have an enormous amount of respect for each other professionally, but see no reason for it to move beyond those boundaries.

If you are struggling with the need to be liked, it is basically a disease, break down your relationships in the following ways:

1. Colleagues: These are individuals that you run into at professional events, board meetings or worked with in the past. You might meet up for  happy hour or sit together at an event, but you are not friends. They do not need to know your life story, unless you are like me and tell everyone you meet within the first 5 minutes of the conversation.
2. Co-workers: This is where personal and professional tend to blur, we often spend more time with our co-workers than our own families. They know what is going on in your personal life, you have most definitely grabbed drinks outside of work and you are brought together by common circumstances. These people will often exit your life quickly as well, usually for a new job.
3. Actual Friends: I say actual, because no matter where you are in life, these people will be with you. You don’t have to work in the same place, have the same type of job or worry about being liked by them. They will love you at your worst and support you at your best. Think back on those tough times in your life, who reached out to you? Who made the effort to support you? Who was by your side?

The fact is, no matter what, there will always be people out there who don’t like you. I am abrasive, stubborn, persistent and not shy about my beliefs – that doesn’t sit well with many people and that is ok. Don’t compromise yourself so someone else will like you.

Learning to be okay with that is hard work, but you’ll like yourself so much more for it. And guess what, I like you.

I have heard the word mindfulness at least 15 times this week (ok, maybe it was 3 times), so I started wondering what the hell it is.

Here is the dictionary definition:

• The quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.
• A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

Mindfulness is being in the moment, fully present. Living in the digital age with our smartphones being an extension of our hands makes this difficult to achieve. Is it really that important? Is this a craze like “self-care?”

If I hadn’t accidentally fell into mindfulness earlier this week, I would’ve shrugged it off and cracked some jokes about it and that would have been that. I shattered my phone screen at the office on Tuesday, because I am a total klutz, it was so bad I cut my hand on the glass – nice job Bode (Genius Phone Repair to the rescue). I dropped my phone off to be fixed and was told it would be about 30 minutes, since I wasn’t going to sit around and wait, I decided to go grab lunch.

I ATE LUNCH ALONE ON A PATIO WITH NO PHONE. This really happened, and I am so glad it did. I sat out on the patio with a pad of paper and a pen, wrote down some thoughts, actually tasted my lunch and observed my surroundings. Holy shit, it was awesome!

We use our devices as a crutch, if we are in situations by ourselves or simply feel uncomfortable, we turn to our phones. Embrace the uncomfortable, relish in it and you might just learn something about yourself.

I walked away from that lunch with a commitment to try to live in the moment versus worrying about everything that could possibly/maybe happen….and maybe set my phone down every once in awhile (baby steps).

It seems all you hear  talk about these days is the need for skilled, STEM and high-tech candidates. A recent article by the Washington Post titled, Forget coding. It’s the soft skills, stupid. And that’s what schools should be teaching, states that while software development skills are desired by employers the skill that is much more in demand is the ability to communicate.

This is a discussion we have frequently around the office, while we need individuals that understand PR, digital, marketing and design; what we need the most is those that are able to problem solve, be empathetic, lead, show gratitude, work in teams and more.

Soft skills, as defined by the dictionary, are: personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.

Let’s just step back a minute and reflect on how we got to the point where job candidates are unable to think independently, interact with other humans and are incapable of saying ‘thank you’ and ‘please.’

Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychology professor, has found that praising children for their intelligence, rather than for their effort, often leads them to give up when they encounter the unknown. It’s much better, in her opinion, to compliment children for their persistence. People perform better when they can focus on things they can control rather than things they cannot.

When I entered the workforce, I took a blue collar upbringing and mentality and applied it to a white collar job. I was told to work smarter, not harder – which went against everything I was taught growing up. I watched my dad work 30+ years as a pipe fitter at GM, where he took on a leadership position in the union. He worked harder and smarter – it wasn’t an either/or scenario.

Todays college graduates struggle with problem solving, if the answer or solution isn’t readily available to them they give up. If they can’t find the answer digitally, it must not exist.

We are handicapping the current and future generations by overfilling their days with structured play or organized activities – gone are the days where you were told to use your imagination. Our parents didn’t care if we were bored, we were told to figure it out, occupy our own time and if there was an issue or argument with other kids – solve it.

Showing up for your job will not earn you a trophy, it earns you a paycheck. My advice to college graduates is work harder and smarter than the rest and ALWAYS say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’

And to the parents raising little, let them be bored, tell them to use their imaginations and limit their interaction with devices and technology. The world doesn’t hand out trophies for paying your bills and showing up for the job you were hired for.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes along this small business journey and leadership is at the top. No need to rehash for the purpose of this blog, don’t worry they still haunt me, instead I want to share the steps I am taking to be the best boss I can be.

A little over six months ago, we began implementing the Entrepreneur Operating System or EOS. If you haven’t heard people talk about this program before, you will now. I encourage you to read the book Traction and learn for yourself what this program can do for your business.

One of the key components in EOS is ensuring you have the right people in the right positions. I have known for awhile that my talents are best utilized out in the community and working with our clients, I am a visionary. I can outline systems all day long, but when it comes to the implementation, I leave a lot to be desired.

I knew I needed a change and my role had to evolve.

1. Outline your current responsibilities. What do you love? What do you dislike? What do you absolutely hate?
2. Next look at the list, where do your talents lie? Circle the responsibilities that you can delegate. For me, this was to our managing director. If you don’t have someone to delegate to at this time, this is a good list for the future when you can afford to hire someone to assist you.
3. Create an org chart and define each staff members role. By outlining what they do on a day-to-day basis you can identify holes and capacity. Be sure that you are not identifying responsibilities by person but by position. The person should fit the role, not the other way around.
4. Set aside time to think big picture. I was so caught up in the day-to-day that I lost sight of the overall vision of the business. Build time into your schedule and your role to strategize, your business depends on it.
5. Lead. Whether you are directly managing your staff or not, you still need to lead. You need to give clear direction, provide the necessary job tools, let go (delegate & trust), acknowledge the bigger picture and give yourself time to define that bigger picture.

There are a lot more steps that full under each of these items, however this gives you a good overall picture of what you need to work towards.

What have you struggled with as a leader?

Perhaps one of the most harmful things we can do as business owners is dwell on the past. It is hard to look forward and not backwards when we are making strategic decisions about our companies, however it is absolutely necessary. You know the saying, hindsight is 20/20, well that is true and the only value is in what you learn to help you make better decisions in the present.

Moving on from a mistake or failure is a challenge all humans make and as a business owner we are not quick to forgive ourselves. Here are a few tips I have found helpful over the years:

1. Make the decision to move on. Consciously admit it happened and acknowledge there is nothing more you can do. Write down 2 to 3 things you learned from it and put those lessons into practice for the future of the company.
2. Process the mistake or failure. Before you can fully move on, you need to process the whole situation. I do this by grabbing a drink with another small business owner who can help me see the lesson in all of it and who also loves a great cocktail and real talk. Similar to personal hardships, you have to allow yourself time to mourn or you will never truly move on from it.
3. Take responsibility. Don’t blame others for what happened. At the end of the day, you are the business owner and the buck stops with you.
4. Stop looking back. Once you are through steps 1 through 3, it is time to put the lessons you learned into practice. No more dwelling on the past. If you continue to focus on the negative there is no room for the positive and it is already hard enough to be positive.
5. Forgive everyone. This sounds very ’emotional’ but the fact is, if you hold a grudge against another person or yourself then this situation/failure/mistake will haunt you for the rest of your life. Forgiveness is a way of tangibly letting something go. It’s also a way of empathizing with the other person, and trying to see things from their point of view. Empathy will set you apart.

Don’t let your business or yourself be defined by something that happened in the past. You are better than that.