I get such a f**king kick out of the holidays, it is nauseating. I don’t know when this love of Christmas took over my life, as a little kid my brother and I would spend hours looking through the JCPenny catalog marking pages and picking out toys that we just had to have. Does anyone remember the Cabbage Patch craze? My Aunt Barb at the time worked at Meijer and managed to snag a doll for me, which in itself was a Christmas miracle.

Christmas has evolved for me over the years, Josh and I made a decision several years back that we were going to do holidays our way. We would take it in small doses, set up time to spend with various family members and friends outside large gatherings. We then spend time us and the dogs and yes they get stockings and presents…we’re pretty much the best fur mom and dad ever.

For me, it is all about the experiences. I love baking cookies with the nephews and nieces, mixing up holiday drinks, wrapping presents, giving presents, wearing red and green, decorating the house, cabin and office…you get the picture.

I met with someone on Friday that told me they hate Christmas, I think my staff member that was with me openly gasped in anticipation of my reaction. Here is the deal, I get it…it isn’t for everyone and yes it is overly commercialized…but it is all what you make of it.

I remember a certain Christmas when we were really struggling financially as a family, my mother has always gone above and beyond for the holidays and it was obvious she was stressed and worried that year. The funny thing is, it was the best Christmas I remember. We called it our ‘homemade’ Christmas. My parents made our presents that year, my father built me a dollhouse and my mom handmade all of the furniture and decor. There is a video of me screaming at the sight of it, it’s quite embarrassing – I guess I have always loved the holidays.

I would love to read your Christmas memories, drop them in the comments below and let’s spread some holiday cheer.

The holiday season is upon us and it comes with all the fun and stress. I’m not an expert on navigating the holidays, but I’ve survived so far and I’m pretty good at managing chaos, so here are my tips for surviving the holidays.

Just as a reminder, always put your mental health first, you shouldn’t hurt yourself to make others happy.

Family you choose

For some reason, holidays turn loving families into the Griswolds or Ralphie’s dad from the Christmas Story. Grandpa is going on and on about the NRA, mom is trying to keep the peace, your siblings are guzzling wine and you’re currently hiding in the closet to avoid discussing politics – hurts to be the only liberal in the family. If you would like to avoid the trauma, drama and karma…opt out of the family gathering and host a friendsgiving and friendsmas. Invite the people you like, assign them a dish to bring (skip the fruitcake) and gather around your own table for food, friends, and fun.

If the guilt of missing a family gathering is too much for you, might we suggest showing up for hors ‘de oeuvres and a few drinks? You made your appearance, now go preserve your sanity.

Escape

Plan a getaway, whether it is a cabin in the woods or a hotel with a pool for the kiddos. Family time can be done in small doses. If you are committed to seeing your family, then set up one-on-one time with them away from the drama.

There is no rule that you HAVE to do things the way they have always been done. Break the cycle.

Make new traditions

Just because it’s always been done one way, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. If there are individuals within your family who feel the same way as you about holiday gatherings, set up a time with them away from the drama.

I do this with one of my sisters-in-law and nephews. I don’t want nor need to be in the middle of a family Christmas where we all pretend to like each other, refuse to address the elephant in the room and I have to drink a bottle of wine just to make it through the evening. It isn’t worth it.

Fight it out

The other thing you can do is put on your fighting gloves and duke it out. I don’t suggest this option, as it is impossible to reason with some family members and you will only leave frustrated and angry.

At the end of the day, you need to do what is right for your family and your sanity. The holidays should be a time of celebration and joy, not ulcers and anxiety.

What are your creative ideas for managing the holidays?

First off, I hate the word self-care, so I am annoyed I used it in the title to this blog. It is, however, the quickest way to say “take care of yourself,” because no one else will.

The holidays really seem to kick people’s asses, mine included. I embrace all things Christmas with a fervor that is quite unhealthy and burn myself out in record time.

So I say to myself and you, STOP IT.

Get your shit together and follow my advice below, or come up with a better solution – do what works for you.

1. Turn your phone off. The first thing we reach for in the morning is our phone, the last thing we look at before we go to sleep is our phone. The digital world and our inability to disconnect from it, is really screwing us up. When 8:00 p.m. strikes, put your phone in a drawer and walk away.
2. Pick up a book. Now that the phone is gone, pick up a book you have been putting off reading because you are checking Facebook, SnapChat, Instagram, LinkedIn or playing Angry Birds. Set aside 30 minutes to an hour at night to reading something that interests you. I just received the book Duel With The Devil by Paul Collins which tells the story of the first major murder trial in New York City, it is a very light read – perfect for the holidays.
3. Write. Take 15 minutes a day and just write down your thoughts, on anything. Yesterday I wrote about my addiction to my phone. Journaling is therapeutic and they say it improves mental and physical health.
4. Find your happy place. Is it in your bedroom with surrounded by candles? Maybe it is taking a bath? It doesn’t have to be a cabin in the woods, although that is mine, what it should be is a place you just think. No staring at your phone, no obsessing over social media…just you, alone. Crazy scary, right? You have to be alone with your own thoughts – oh the horror!

The most important thing you can do, is put yourself first. I know the holidays are all about giving, but the fact is you gotta take care of yourself first or you have nothing to give anyone else.

As we approach the holidays, I wanted to write this blog as a reminder that it can be a hard time for many. As we age, the holidays can lead to stress, exhaustion, sadness and more.

We tend to put unreasonable demands on ourselves and have unrealistic expectations for others. I have never understood why when you reach a certain age you are told that the holidays are not for you anymore, but for the littles. All of a sudden, the traditions you once had or the gifts you once gave/received are ripped away from you. Okay, that may have been a bit melodramatic, but you get my point.

So, if you are childless, single, no longer in contact with your family or something needs to give; these tips for having a happy holiday are for you.

Make your own traditions

We all remember certain traditions when we were growing up and those tend to be bittersweet around the holidays. Every year when we put the tree up, my parents would give my sister, brother and I a present to open. It was always a Hallmark ornament that was relevant to us and to this day, I still have those ornaments and they hang on my tree.

Some of my ‘new’ traditions are influenced by my childhood, while others are my brainchild. Whenever I can, I host family dinners and invite any and all. I make a roast, casserole, potatoes and I set the table and we all sit down and just be. I have an open door policy and I want any person who comes into my home, to feel loved and welcomed.

Maybe your tradition is going downtown with friends to watch the tree lighting or hosting a white elephant party. It could be as small as making ornaments or cookies every year that you give to whomever.

Having a tradition, that you created, to look forward to every year helps stave off the sadness of the season.

Choose your family

When it was made abundantly obvious to me that I could no longer enjoy the holidays because I was an adult and didn’t have any children, I decided that I would choose my own misfit family to enjoy the season with.

This year, I will be hosting friendsmas (I need to wordsmith that) the Friday before Christmas with a few friends, we will exchange gifts, eat a delicious meal (made by me) and watch Christmas movies while surrounded by dogs. This makes my heart happy.

I also exchange presents with close friends and it gives me so much joy shopping for them.

Be Selfish

The holidays are not about giving until you literally drop, they are about joy and wherever you find that – embrace it and screw everyone else.

This will be our first Christmas with our cabin and we are going to sit in the middle of the woods, open stockings and warm ourselves by the fire. Will we miss out on a family party? Yes, but we also know that party is for the children and as much as we love them, we don’t need to sit around for 2 hours watching them open gifts.

Since we have ‘aged’ out of Christmas, make your own traditions where you put yourself first.

Know your limits

The limit could be a variety of things, a budget, number of parties you attend, family you do or don’t see…it depends. At the end of the day,  you are responsible for your mental and physical health and that means cutting the crap out and finding your happy.

I don’t care what age you are, the holidays can be a magical time if you surround yourself with the right people and know you always have a seat at my table.

My favoritist (I know it isn’t a word), time of the year is Christmas. I love everything about the holiday season – the gift wrapping, decorations, parties, food, gift-giving and more. While everyone around me is super irritated that retailers are rolling out the holiday marketing, I could not be more excited.

As a small business, the holidays are a great time for us to get creative with our marketing. Here are my recommendations for making the most out of the holiday season. Also, it is already October so you need to get cracking on the planning.

1. Blogging. Publish a gift guide that is specific to your industry. Even if we aren’t in the consumer goods industry, 8THIRTYFOUR still loves to give recommendations on what is the hottest in professional gifts. Last year we focused on Grand Rapids’ businesses. 
2. Greeting cards. It isn’t cliche’, so don’t say that. Work with a designer to capture your company brand in a holiday greeting. If you really want to stand out from the heaps of cards businesses receive, then consider a Thanksgiving or New Year’s mailer.
3. Give back. Pick a local charity, cause or create your own. Engage your clients and give them the opportunity to partner with you. For example you could do a gift drive or sponsor multiple families in need. Coordinate all the logistics and make it easy for your clients to participate if they choose to.
4. Gifts. As a small business we invest in client holiday gifts every year. Pick a theme like “Made in Michigan” or “Made in Grand Rapids” or “Holiday Cocktails.” If you don’t have time to coordinate, then work with a local company like, Russo’s International Market to create a custom gift basket.
5. Party! Host a get together for clients, partners and employees. Pick a date and time that is going to be convenient during the busy holiday season. Maybe instead of afternoon or evening, you host a breakfast with all of the fixings.

These are some pretty easy ways to engage in the holidays, if you feel like getting even more creative then give us a call. We like to think big, like real big.