As women we are programmed to be apologetic.

“Sorry i’m late.”

“Sorry this seat is taken.”

“Sorry to bother you.”

“Sorry to interrupt.”

Can we just knock it off already? Manners are one thing, but apologizing for no reason can actually hurt you. What kind of message are you sending? It sure as hell isn’t confidence.

There is a great article by Fast Company that talks about the right times to apologize and spoiler….it doesn’t include any of the below:

1. Sharing your point of view. If you are in a meeting and speak up, don’t apologize for it! Say what you have to say, illustrate how damn smart you are and then sit down. Do you think Bob is going to apologize for interrupting you to show how smart he is? No.
2. When you are short on time or long on time. If you have a presentation and it is going long, inform the group that you will wrap up in 2 minutes or however long. Also don’t be that person that drones on and on and on. I’m also going to assume your PowerPoint slides are engaging and not 15 bullet points each.
3. Delivering bad news. Sometimes you have to sit down with an employee, colleague or client and share or discuss a difficult issue. Apologizing will only undermine what you are about to say. Have the tough conversation and move on. Starting out with “sorry” only makes you look unsure.

There are situations that will warrant an apology, like running over your neighbors cat. However when it is work-related, think twice before offering up an apology.

What do you think?

Entire sections of bookstores are dedicated to self-help and self-improvement. Many individuals dedicate hours and hours to the pursuit of happiness. They turn the focus inward and change their own behavior and habits and focus on the betterment of themselves. A recent Fast Company article contradicts this by stating that other people are the key to our happiness.

….Since we know that it’s our relationships—particularly with our bosses and colleagues—that determine how happy and successful we are as our careers progress, it may be worth asking some new questions. Instead of, “How can I improve?” the better question might be, “How can I start seeing more of the good in people, more often?”

In other words, trust that people have the best intentions, find the good in people and you will benefit. Seems simple, right? However, we are taught from an early age to be wary of strangers, keep to ourselves, don’t bother others and generally view situations with suspicion.

How do you shift this way of thinking? Practice. When you receive an email from a co-worker, friend, client or colleague don’t assume the worst and interpret a tone that isn’t there. Assume positive intent. See the good in people.

Research on optimism—including assuming the best of others—almost universally shows its benefits for success and satisfaction in both work and life.

By believing in the good of others, we ourselves will find happiness. Did I just sound like the Dalai Lama or what?

So often the importance of company culture is overlooked. In the past few months, I have put emphasis on mapping 834’s culture out, but not all companies see the need to define their culture. Take Uber for example, they are facing a media firestorm and branding crisis due to their toxic culture.

How does company culture fail? It can be chalked up to multiple small things that continue to pile up.

• Leadership hasn’t set the tone or example. Culture starts from the top and trickles down. In our culture map, we defined what leadership looks and acts like. If you have ambiguous phrases like “embody the brand” – no one knows what the hell that means. Be specific!
• Address issues when they arise. If you see something happening that is not in line with your defined culture then have a process for dealing with it. If you ignore the issues or don’t give individuals the power to fix it, it will only get worse.
• Keep culture front and center. At our bi-weekly strategy meetings we address any issues that come up. We review 834’s culture map on a quarterly basis to ensure it is still relevant. Culture will change and evolve over time, which means you need to be aware of where you are at and where you are going.

If you reach the level of a shitshow that Uber is currently dealing with, then you need to own up to the mistakes and outline the plan moving forward. It amazes me that companies refuse to do that.

It still amazes me how bad individuals are at promoting themselves, the fact is everything you do shapes your personal brand. The benefits of personal branding are numerous, the only way to beat the competition is to actively market yourself. In a nutshell, personal branding is defining who you are, then actively communicating that through a multitude of channels.

Below is one of the many definitions of personal branding:

Thanks Tom Peters for identifying the importance of personal branding.

The process by which individuals differentiate themselves and stand out from a crowd by identifying and articulating their unique value proposition, whether professional or personal, and then leverage it across platforms with a consistent message and image to achieve a specific goal.

Fast Company’s, Tom Peters was the first to define or recognize personal branding back in 1997. Read about it here.

So…how do you go about defining your brand?

1. Discover. This is the stage where you determine what your brand is. What makes you different? What makes you valuable? What is your value proposition? What have you done lately to stand out?
2. Create. In 15 words or less develop your brand statement. Be creative. Write it down, read it multiple times and then test it out. If it doesn’t grab a person’s attention, then start again. If you are still struggling, analyze a person you want your brand to emulate. Is it Beyonce? Steve Jobs? Tom Peters gives this advice: “What do I do that adds remarkable, measurable, distinguished, distinctive value? Forget your job description. Ask yourself: What do I do that I am most proud of? Most of all, forget about the standard rungs of progression you’ve climbed in your career up to now. Burn that damnable “ladder” and ask yourself: What have I accomplished that I can unabashedly brag about?”
3. Communicate. Now that you have defined your value proposition and have blown people away by your creativity…then you need to communicate it. What tools will you use? Let me give you a hint, you are reading one now (a blog…come on that was easy). Will you use social media, blogging, submit guest articles to publications, networking, speaking engagements? The floor is yours, so get busy.
4. Maintain. Seems easy, but the fact is everything you do is being judged all the time. Your online profiles are up 24/7, doesn’t matter if you are sleeping. If you created a brand that is not genuine or transparent then someone will create a more accurate brand…and it probably won’t be very complimentary.

Personal branding is not rocket science. Your brand is you – your beliefs, goals and personality. Defining simply helps focus your efforts. The best piece of advice I can pass along to you is to always be authentic, visible and transparent.

Now get out there and market yourself…and don’t forget to stand out.

In the last week it occurred to me what a terrible job professionals do marketing themselves. Developing your personal brand and communicating your value proposition is key to success. Everything we do is tied back to sales, whether it is convincing your signifiant other to go to a steakhouse vs. an Italian restaurant or convincing your boss that you are worth a raise.

Don’t just take my word for it, here is what people much smarter than me have to say:

If you want to build a relationship, if you want to get referrals, you have to become known…

– Jeffrey Gitomer

Big companies understand the importance of brands. Today, in the Age of the Individual, you have to be your own brand.

– Tom Peters, Fast Company

Here is the deal, if you want to grow your client base and sales, you have to be a known expert source, be top of mind and to do that you have to be visible and it can’t be about you.

So how the hell do you do that? Lucky for you, I compiled the below suggestions.

1. Blog. Whether you start your own personal blog, write for your business’ blog or write for a local publication, you need to make your voice heard and it should be often. This gives you visibility within your industry and positions you as a resource. The content you share must be relevant and address or solve a problem within your industry.
2. Network. Get out and get out often. No one ever made a name for themselves sitting on their ass and hiding behind a computer. Look at professional organizations, networking groups, nonprofits in need of volunteers and GO. If you are terrified of networking, you probably should consider a change in career. Read Liz Lynch’s Smart Networking, you can thank me later.
3. Speak. When I started out in my professional career, it wasn’t like I was in high demand…in fact, no one wanted me. So where was my very first speaking engagement? A local assisted living center, I went in and chatted with the residents and gave a formal presentation , powerpoint and all. I then stayed around and spent time answering their questions and further explaining the world of marketing to them. The fact is, it doesn’t matter where you go to speak but do it and do it often. Eventually you will land those very desirable opportunities but treat every engagement as if it is the most important thing you have to do. And to the gentleman who fell asleep and was snoring through my presentation…I salute you.
4. Social. Your networking, speaking and writing game may be strong but if you aren’t actively engaged in social media, then how are you promoting yourself? Every time you go some place, check in via Facebook, send a few tweets about the event (obviously tag the host or company), snap some photos and share over Instagram and be sure to use the event hashtag through all mediums.
5. Give. Give of your time, talent and money. If you want the community and business community to embrace you and hire you, then you need to give back. Join a nonprofit board (and not as a resume builder), but to really lend your talents, take on a pro bono project, become a mentor and support causes in the community. I am telling you, being a good person really does pay off.
6. Say yes. You read all of these articles about the power of ‘no’ but I am hear to tell you there is much more value in ‘yes’. When you are just starting out building your network, then you need to say yes to EVERYTHING. Eventually you will have the luxury to be more strategic with where you put your time and talent, but in the beginning you have to give, give, give. When I started out, I joined every board, committee and volunteer opportunity that would ask me.
7. Time. You have to work, not werk. You are always on, always. That means when you are working to build a network it takes time. You need to continue to educate yourself on the community, industry and spend time writing, networking, facebooking, tweeting, instagramming…you get the idea. Quite frankly,  you get to sleep – otherwise you better be working.

Owning a small business is hard work, being a professional in a competitive industry is tough…but it isn’t impossible. Become the chief salesperson of you. Follow these tips consistently for 6 months and you will see results. Would I lie to you?