Be comfortable with change is the best piece of advice I can offer you. Life is going to throw a lot of curve balls your way, so line up to catch them and throw them the f**k back.

8THIRTYFOUR is 12 years old (maybe 13 – I lose track) and there is not a single day that I wasn’t surprised or caught off-guard by something; there is a reason people don’t own businesses – it is fucking hard. If you can become comfortable with things constantly being in influx, and create a plan for how to deal with disruptions – you almost begin to look forward to them (that is 100% an exaggeration), the good thing is you know how to tackle the unexpected, deal with it and move on.

The other fun part about change is communicating throughout the entire organization, in a way that is positive and exciting. Anytime there is change, there is opportunity. Stop looking at change as a disruption, instead see the possibilities that accompany it.

Next time the unexpected happens, do the following.

1. Breathe. Don’t react. Any action you take within the first 15 minutes of a disruption, is going to be reactionary and definitely not well-thought out.
2. Ponder. If I know a big decision is coming, I reflect on it. I take a few days, sometimes a week (if time allows) and let my mind look at all the possibilities.
3. Analyze. Now that you have slowed down and pondered, it is time to determine the ripple effects on your company, staff, community, personal life etc.
4. Plan. You have thought it out and you know what you have to do, write it out, timeline it and communicate it.
5. Go. Get moving, you have the plan and the ability to turn this disruption into an opportunity.

Remember, when shit hits the fan – find the opportunity and put on your positive pants.

I have been thinking about leadership quite a bit this week, probably because I am in the middle of the woods with 6 dogs and a shitty wifi connection. I’ve been reading a lot on Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG), so I am going to use her as my inspiration.

People, myself included, get leadership and management confused. Leadership is how you approach and deal with different situations, it doesn’t have to mean you oversee people. For example, you notice that the garbage is full and you bring it out. You don’t stop and announce to everyone what you are doing, you just do it. Leaders don’t seek praise, if anything it makes them uncomfortable.

When RBG was asked to apply for a board position with the ACLU, candidates were expected to discuss their career highlights, major accomplishments and tout how great they would be in the position. RBG was so self-effacing and kept giving everyone else the credit (for some of the landmark cases she won), that the board elected her on good-faith, due to her past performance with the ACLU. Her peers and ACLU staff members, were ultimately responsible for her getting elected.

There is no perfect leader, but if you want to be one, I recommend keeping the below in mind at all times. A very smart person, once said to pick 3 and make those the lens in which you assess all situations.

1. Caring. This should speak for itself, if not, let me say this: don’t be a dick. You can have a very direct communication style and still really see the other person.
2. Patient (I didn’t say a master of it). I suck at this, I have a tendency to outline my requests in a way that seems perfectly clear to me and is incredibly confusing to everyone else. This often leads to annoyance on my part and frustration on the other end. Which leads me to my 3rd point.
3. Self-aware. Know your weaknesses, strengths and everything in between. This allows you to elevate others while staying focused on what you are good at.
4. Lead by example. The saying “do what I say, not what I do,” is utter bullshit. Be the first to lend a hand, step in when someone is struggling, take the time to show and teach and be kind. Do the right thing, regardless of who is watching.
5. Mentor. I encourage team 834 to work with our interns or first-year associates to help them become accustomed to our culture, processes and brand. By setting up others for success, you yourself succeed in gaining valuable experience in leadership.
6. Self-effacing. Don’t claim attention for yourself, share the love. RBG did this and she is a Supreme Court justice. Being a narcissist never turns out well, as history will soon show.

There is so much more to leadership, but these are the six things I try so hard to incorporate into my daily life. A leader isn’t a manager, a leader is who others strive to be.

How do you want to be remembered?

“Someone who used whatever talent she had to do her work to the very best of her ability. And to help repair tears in her society, to make things a little better through the use of whatever ability she has. To do something, outside myself. ‘Cause I’ve gotten much more satisfaction for the things that I’ve done for which I was not paid.” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a true leader

Most entrepreneurs and business owners fail terribly a leading. No one tells you when you start your business, that you will someday have to manage an entire team. At the time, you are too busy trying to not go broke. It’s probably a good thing that most entrepreneurs can’t see past the week they’re living in, we would have a nervous breakdown.

Over my 11 years at 8THIRTYFOUR, I’ve stumbled upon the following lessons (and I mean stumbled).

1. You are in the spotlight. Whether you like it or not, everyone is watching what you do. Your employees, community, clients, partners, family, dog…you name it; your every action and decision is under the microscope. Self-awareness is key, especially after you make a bad decision.
2. Personal and professional is blurred. Most people spend more time with their co-workers than they do their own families, which means you will know a lot about each individual that reports to you. A good work environment, encourages team bonding and presents opportunities for employees/managers to get to know each other on a more personal level. The catch is, you will know WAY more than you want to about your employees. Safeguard that information and respect their privacy.
3. Not everyone is a winner. This may seem harsh, but when we started moving to EOS (Entrepreneurial Operating System), it took the emotion out of staff/employee decisions. You have to make the right decisions for the company and that means, right person/right position. Rip the bandaid off when it comes to low performers, if they are not a fit for your culture, then work with them to transition to a new job.
4. Everyone looks to you for the answer. You are going to get asked a lot of questions, some you know, most you don’t. Unfortunately for you, you’re the only one they can go to. Empower employees to make their own decisions, but also have designated times they can come to you with questions and solutions.
5. Leadership is lonely. I wrote a pretty emotional and raw blog about this awhile back, running a business is hard. You can’t delegate running the company to someone else, if a big problem hits – buck stops with you.

What leadership lessons would you share? I am always open to learning and adapting based on what I learn. Great leaders don’t happen overnight, they make a lot of mistakes on the way.

The worst bosses I ever had…were women. I know I am not alone, many share the same experiences. These experiences have driven me to be a better leader and to cultivate opportunities for my employees that I never had. As a business owner (regardless of my gender), I need to live by example.

When reflecting back on my worst bosses, I realized they did teach me valuable leadership lessons.

1. Be transparent. By being clear with expectations for each role in your company, your employees know what is expected of them. Share with them the vision and 1 year, 3 year and 10 year goals. Understanding they are a part of something bigger, drives them to contribute in a more strategic way.
2. Support professional growth. When an employee grows professionally, the company benefits. Provide opportunities for community engagement, leadership training and more. We work with our employees to develop a professional development plan that we support as a firm.
3. Be intentional with culture. You want employees to look forward to coming to work each day. We purposefully build team bonding into our schedule – whether it is Friday Sangria or a BBQ at my house to share an updated company strategy to working on a patio for the afternoon. Employees work hard, reward them with some flexibility and fun.
4. Lead by example. This is by far the most important. We have all had those bosses that tells us one thing and do another. While I am out of the office a lot, I make it a priority to attend our team meetings, bonding sessions and hit deadlines.

Use your past ‘bad boss’ situations to drive yourself to be a better leader. Sometimes our worst experiences can be our best education.

I was labeled a pessimist the other day and my first reaction was to be defensive. Let’s be honest, pessimism is not viewed favorably; we are considered the Eeyores of the world, which is associated with negativity.

Side note: Someone had to be a pessimist in that group. Pooh had no common sense, Tigger was rash and reactive in his decision making and Piglet was terrified of his own shadow. They probably should have given Eeyore a little more credit.

Being a pessimist, that’s right I’ll admit it, has allowed me to succeed as a business owner. I do not walk around singing show tunes, I have a serious case of RBF (resting bitch face) and past bosses have called me abrasive and pushy. All of this is true, although I do occasionally hum the Greatest Showman soundtrack, and I am not going to apologize for it.

The way I approach a lot of situations in the business world are grounded in my pessimistic tendencies and have built a successful foundation for 8THIRTYFOUR.

1. I always analyze the shit out of everything. I overthink every interaction, situation, communication…and it has made me very intuitive when faced with difficult decisions. I notice everything…everything.
2. I hope for the best and plan for the worst. Running a business is really, really hard and it is a journey full of constant twists and turns – you have to plan for the unexpected. You also need to roll with the punches, which is not something us pessimists do well.
3. My self-awareness is off the charts. I take criticism well and it has made me a better boss and colleague. I internalize, overthink it and at times make myself sick over it…but the process is well-worth the results.

While pessimism has served me well, it needs to be in moderation. It cannot take over your life; use it to motivate you, but remember to take time to focus and reflect on the great things.

Lastly, don’t be ashamed to be a pessimist, own it and acknowledge the good that comes from it.

P.S. Being a pessimist is good for your health. 

I originally wrote this article for Huffington Post over a year ago and I doubt it will ever lose its relevance. 

“There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.” – Mean Girls

I caught myself the other day criticizing another professional woman in my same industry, because I was upset that things seemed to just ‘happen’ for her. Instead of being happy for her and congratulating her, I belittled, cut her down and openly criticized. What a bitch.

I consider myself a feminist and I am damn proud of it, hell I have an all female staff (I did at the time of writing this – welcome, Alex & Kayden!). However, feminism doesn’t give me the right to lash out at those that believe or see things differently than me. Hell that isn’t even the definition. It is about equality and that sure is hell needs to start with how we treat our own gender.

A good friend of mine asked me one time “Why do bitches cut other bitches?”
Is it low self-esteem? Do we feel threatened? Are we just assholes?

Frankly, I don’t give a shit what it is. Enough is enough. How about we come together and take the following actions instead of being complete bitches.

• Go to Facebook right now and post something nice on someone’s page that you have disagreed with in the past or got into a political argument about. I don’t care if they think the Women’s March was pointless, do it.
• Send an actual handwritten note to a woman that has done something awesome in your community. It could be a promotion, board position, award, etc. Spread the love.
• Set up drinks with someone that you disagree with politically and just listen…like shut your mouth and listen. If you don’t try to understand someone else’s point of view, then are you really any better when you are shoving yours down everyone else’s throat?
• Pause, think, breath and then act. Flying off the cuff and using emotion as your main basis for engaging is not productive.

The fact is, it is up to us to combat the mean girl disease. Do you really want to be labeled the Regina George of the world?

If we plan to run the world, we better practice what we preach.

Why, as women, do we feel the need to be liked by everyone? Why are our feelings hurt when we aren’t included? Is high school still haunting us?

I won’t get into how society or our upbringings can play a role in our need to be accepted or loved. I will say this, knock it off! I went through this a few months back and reached out to several women who I thought I had offended (who, me?) and offered to grab coffee or connect on a more personal level. The responses I received made me realize that I don’t have to be liked or be best friends with these women. I respected them on a professional level but it did not need to ever move beyond that. Why was that so hard for me to accept?

It came up in conversation again the other day when another (professional/colleague) woman and I were commenting on the fact that we had known each other for over 10 years, but it was never on a personal level. Guess what…we were both FINE with that. We both have an enormous amount of respect for each other professionally, but see no reason for it to move beyond those boundaries.

If you are struggling with the need to be liked, it is basically a disease, break down your relationships in the following ways:

1. Colleagues: These are individuals that you run into at professional events, board meetings or worked with in the past. You might meet up for  happy hour or sit together at an event, but you are not friends. They do not need to know your life story, unless you are like me and tell everyone you meet within the first 5 minutes of the conversation.
2. Co-workers: This is where personal and professional tend to blur, we often spend more time with our co-workers than our own families. They know what is going on in your personal life, you have most definitely grabbed drinks outside of work and you are brought together by common circumstances. These people will often exit your life quickly as well, usually for a new job.
3. Actual Friends: I say actual, because no matter where you are in life, these people will be with you. You don’t have to work in the same place, have the same type of job or worry about being liked by them. They will love you at your worst and support you at your best. Think back on those tough times in your life, who reached out to you? Who made the effort to support you? Who was by your side?

The fact is, no matter what, there will always be people out there who don’t like you. I am abrasive, stubborn, persistent and not shy about my beliefs – that doesn’t sit well with many people and that is ok. Don’t compromise yourself so someone else will like you.

Learning to be okay with that is hard work, but you’ll like yourself so much more for it. And guess what, I like you.

It seems all you hear  talk about these days is the need for skilled, STEM and high-tech candidates. A recent article by the Washington Post titled, Forget coding. It’s the soft skills, stupid. And that’s what schools should be teaching, states that while software development skills are desired by employers the skill that is much more in demand is the ability to communicate.

This is a discussion we have frequently around the office, while we need individuals that understand PR, digital, marketing and design; what we need the most is those that are able to problem solve, be empathetic, lead, show gratitude, work in teams and more.

Soft skills, as defined by the dictionary, are: personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.

Let’s just step back a minute and reflect on how we got to the point where job candidates are unable to think independently, interact with other humans and are incapable of saying ‘thank you’ and ‘please.’

Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychology professor, has found that praising children for their intelligence, rather than for their effort, often leads them to give up when they encounter the unknown. It’s much better, in her opinion, to compliment children for their persistence. People perform better when they can focus on things they can control rather than things they cannot.

When I entered the workforce, I took a blue collar upbringing and mentality and applied it to a white collar job. I was told to work smarter, not harder – which went against everything I was taught growing up. I watched my dad work 30+ years as a pipe fitter at GM, where he took on a leadership position in the union. He worked harder and smarter – it wasn’t an either/or scenario.

Todays college graduates struggle with problem solving, if the answer or solution isn’t readily available to them they give up. If they can’t find the answer digitally, it must not exist.

We are handicapping the current and future generations by overfilling their days with structured play or organized activities – gone are the days where you were told to use your imagination. Our parents didn’t care if we were bored, we were told to figure it out, occupy our own time and if there was an issue or argument with other kids – solve it.

Showing up for your job will not earn you a trophy, it earns you a paycheck. My advice to college graduates is work harder and smarter than the rest and ALWAYS say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’

And to the parents raising little, let them be bored, tell them to use their imaginations and limit their interaction with devices and technology. The world doesn’t hand out trophies for paying your bills and showing up for the job you were hired for.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes along this small business journey and leadership is at the top. No need to rehash for the purpose of this blog, don’t worry they still haunt me, instead I want to share the steps I am taking to be the best boss I can be.

A little over six months ago, we began implementing the Entrepreneur Operating System or EOS. If you haven’t heard people talk about this program before, you will now. I encourage you to read the book Traction and learn for yourself what this program can do for your business.

One of the key components in EOS is ensuring you have the right people in the right positions. I have known for awhile that my talents are best utilized out in the community and working with our clients, I am a visionary. I can outline systems all day long, but when it comes to the implementation, I leave a lot to be desired.

I knew I needed a change and my role had to evolve.

1. Outline your current responsibilities. What do you love? What do you dislike? What do you absolutely hate?
2. Next look at the list, where do your talents lie? Circle the responsibilities that you can delegate. For me, this was to our managing director. If you don’t have someone to delegate to at this time, this is a good list for the future when you can afford to hire someone to assist you.
3. Create an org chart and define each staff members role. By outlining what they do on a day-to-day basis you can identify holes and capacity. Be sure that you are not identifying responsibilities by person but by position. The person should fit the role, not the other way around.
4. Set aside time to think big picture. I was so caught up in the day-to-day that I lost sight of the overall vision of the business. Build time into your schedule and your role to strategize, your business depends on it.
5. Lead. Whether you are directly managing your staff or not, you still need to lead. You need to give clear direction, provide the necessary job tools, let go (delegate & trust), acknowledge the bigger picture and give yourself time to define that bigger picture.

There are a lot more steps that full under each of these items, however this gives you a good overall picture of what you need to work towards.

What have you struggled with as a leader?

I couldn’t help rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles last night, Nick Foles’ story is just amazing and who doesn’t love a great underdog story? As everyone by now knows, Foles almost walked away from football, he was discouraged, disappointed in his career – spending much of his time on the sideline. We all know how his story ends but the leadership lessons we can glean from it are a valuable reminder to all business owners.

1. Perseverance. At the age of 26 he was going to call it quits, instead he took  time to reflect and decided his story wasn’t over. He listened to those he respected, got away to unplug and then he put his head down and got to work. Anyone running a business has times when they want to call it quits, it’s hard sometimes too hard, but you need to suck it up, think and move forward. It’s what business owners (and quarterbacks) do.
2. Teamwork. We don’t get where we are by ourselves. Just like Nick Foles’ Superbowl win is not his alone, your business is much more than just you. What are the skill sets the company needs? Pulling the right talent together is what makes a company unstoppable.
3. Humility. Understanding that you didn’t get where you are a lone and acknowledging that whenever you get a chance is what will make your company great. Do you know what Nick Foles had to say after winning the Superbowl? “I think the big thing that helped me was knowing that I didn’t have to be Superman. I have amazing teammates, amazing coaches around me. And all I had to do was just go play as hard as I could, and play for one another, and play for those guys.”
4. Adversity. Foles obviously didn’t have the career that people write books about, until now, but what he did have was the ability to see the bigger picture and tackle adversity as it came at him. He went up against Goliath and he won. The key to overcoming adversity is viewing it as a challenge,  not an unsurmountable feat. Take it day-by-day, step-by-step and as always – never stop moving forward.
5. Poise. When I was watching the game, it struck me how Foles approached each play with a sense of calm and calculation, he seemed completely unfazed. Leaders need to have the ability to approach difficult tasks with an analytical mindset, while taking the emotion out of the situation. This is something I work at every day, because the passion that founded our businesses cannot be how we make important decisions.

Sometimes, being the underdog isn’t a bad thing, people will count you out and underestimate you – let that drive you to work even harder at being the leader your company and industry need.