It seems all you hear  talk about these days is the need for skilled, STEM and high-tech candidates. A recent article by the Washington Post titled, Forget coding. It’s the soft skills, stupid. And that’s what schools should be teaching, states that while software development skills are desired by employers the skill that is much more in demand is the ability to communicate.

This is a discussion we have frequently around the office, while we need individuals that understand PR, digital, marketing and design; what we need the most is those that are able to problem solve, be empathetic, lead, show gratitude, work in teams and more.

Soft skills, as defined by the dictionary, are: personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.

Let’s just step back a minute and reflect on how we got to the point where job candidates are unable to think independently, interact with other humans and are incapable of saying ‘thank you’ and ‘please.’

Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychology professor, has found that praising children for their intelligence, rather than for their effort, often leads them to give up when they encounter the unknown. It’s much better, in her opinion, to compliment children for their persistence. People perform better when they can focus on things they can control rather than things they cannot.

When I entered the workforce, I took a blue collar upbringing and mentality and applied it to a white collar job. I was told to work smarter, not harder – which went against everything I was taught growing up. I watched my dad work 30+ years as a pipe fitter at GM, where he took on a leadership position in the union. He worked harder and smarter – it wasn’t an either/or scenario.

Todays college graduates struggle with problem solving, if the answer or solution isn’t readily available to them they give up. If they can’t find the answer digitally, it must not exist.

We are handicapping the current and future generations by overfilling their days with structured play or organized activities – gone are the days where you were told to use your imagination. Our parents didn’t care if we were bored, we were told to figure it out, occupy our own time and if there was an issue or argument with other kids – solve it.

Showing up for your job will not earn you a trophy, it earns you a paycheck. My advice to college graduates is work harder and smarter than the rest and ALWAYS say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’

And to the parents raising little, let them be bored, tell them to use their imaginations and limit their interaction with devices and technology. The world doesn’t hand out trophies for paying your bills and showing up for the job you were hired for.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes along this small business journey and leadership is at the top. No need to rehash for the purpose of this blog, don’t worry they still haunt me, instead I want to share the steps I am taking to be the best boss I can be.

A little over six months ago, we began implementing the Entrepreneur Operating System® or EOS®. If you haven’t heard people talk about this program before, you will now. I encourage you to read the book Traction and learn for yourself what this program can do for your business.

One of the key components in EOS® is ensuring you have the right people in the right positions. I have known for awhile that my talents are best utilized out in the community and working with our clients, I am a visionary. I can outline systems all day long, but when it comes to the implementation, I leave a lot to be desired.

I knew I needed a change and my role had to evolve.

1. Outline your current responsibilities. What do you love? What do you dislike? What do you absolutely hate?
2. Next look at the list, where do your talents lie? Circle the responsibilities that you can delegate. For me, this was to our managing director. If you don’t have someone to delegate to at this time, this is a good list for the future when you can afford to hire someone to assist you.
3. Create an org chart and define each staff members role. By outlining what they do on a day-to-day basis you can identify holes and capacity. Be sure that you are not identifying responsibilities by person but by position. The person should fit the role, not the other way around.
4. Set aside time to think big picture. I was so caught up in the day-to-day that I lost sight of the overall vision of the business. Build time into your schedule and your role to strategize, your business depends on it.
5. Lead. Whether you are directly managing your staff or not, you still need to lead. You need to give clear direction, provide the necessary job tools, let go (delegate & trust), acknowledge the bigger picture and give yourself time to define that bigger picture.

There are a lot more steps that full under each of these items, however this gives you a good overall picture of what you need to work towards.

What have you struggled with as a leader?

I couldn’t help rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles last night, Nick Foles’ story is just amazing and who doesn’t love a great underdog story? As everyone by now knows, Foles almost walked away from football, he was discouraged, disappointed in his career – spending much of his time on the sideline. We all know how his story ends but the leadership lessons we can glean from it are a valuable reminder to all business owners.

1. Perseverance. At the age of 26 he was going to call it quits, instead he took  time to reflect and decided his story wasn’t over. He listened to those he respected, got away to unplug and then he put his head down and got to work. Anyone running a business has times when they want to call it quits, it’s hard sometimes too hard, but you need to suck it up, think and move forward. It’s what business owners (and quarterbacks) do.
2. Teamwork. We don’t get where we are by ourselves. Just like Nick Foles’ Superbowl win is not his alone, your business is much more than just you. What are the skill sets the company needs? Pulling the right talent together is what makes a company unstoppable.
3. Humility. Understanding that you didn’t get where you are a lone and acknowledging that whenever you get a chance is what will make your company great. Do you know what Nick Foles had to say after winning the Superbowl? “I think the big thing that helped me was knowing that I didn’t have to be Superman. I have amazing teammates, amazing coaches around me. And all I had to do was just go play as hard as I could, and play for one another, and play for those guys.”
4. Adversity. Foles obviously didn’t have the career that people write books about, until now, but what he did have was the ability to see the bigger picture and tackle adversity as it came at him. He went up against Goliath and he won. The key to overcoming adversity is viewing it as a challenge,  not an unsurmountable feat. Take it day-by-day, step-by-step and as always – never stop moving forward.
5. Poise. When I was watching the game, it struck me how Foles approached each play with a sense of calm and calculation, he seemed completely unfazed. Leaders need to have the ability to approach difficult tasks with an analytical mindset, while taking the emotion out of the situation. This is something I work at every day, because the passion that founded our businesses cannot be how we make important decisions.

Sometimes, being the underdog isn’t a bad thing, people will count you out and underestimate you – let that drive you to work even harder at being the leader your company and industry need.

“Leadership that is not deeply rooted in a foundation of truth is leadership destined to fail.” – Mike Myatt of Innovation Excellence.

As a leader, you are only as good as your word and how you live out that word. The most successful business leaders of our time have built their personal brand through honesty, making the right decisions and perhaps most importantly – admitting when they have it wrong. Success, in my opinion, is dependent on a leader’s moral compass.

A recent Forbes’ article had this to say about leadership, “True leaders don’t have the luxury of blaming others. Instead, they own every failure and work tirelessly to fix problems no matter the source.”

A good leader…

• is selfless.
• brings people together.
• owns failure.
• makes sacrifices.
• pursues the greater good, often at their own expense.

As we are inundated with news of the latest scandal caused by 45, it is imperative that we remember what a leader truly embodies.

My top blogs of 2017 were incredibly personal and a bit painful to write. I narrowed last year’s blogs down to the top 5. In each of these my passion and commitment to small business is evident, as is the sacrifice and growth that comes along to it. So, take a gander and if you would be so kind…let me know what you would like me to write on in 2018.

Why you should quit your job
I got a bit of blowback on this one, apparently I shouldn’t be encouraging people to quit their job (they hate) to do something they love. I started 8THIRTYFOUR when I was in my mid (okay late) 20s and my age played a major factor in the beginning. As we age we become more risk adverse and this was something I most definitely didn’t contemplate at the time. Your happiness is more important than your age, so make the leap, be happy.

It sure is lonely
I wrote this blog when I was dealing with employee issues and I was at my wits end. I was frustrated, felt abused, disrespected and hurt – the outpouring of support that resulted from this blog, seriously restored my faith in humanity. It was obvious I wasn’t the only one experiencing these feelings.

❤️

Motivation in loss
This blog still gets me choked up. Losing Murphy, was and is one of the hardest life moments I have had to overcome. He was with me during my divorce, bankruptcy, move, multiple jobs, the start of 8THIRTYFOUR and more. He was my constant companion and he loved me when it felt like no one else did. Finding the lesson in the loss was difficult, but this blog and the responses from it…made all the difference.

Dress to impress
Let’s be honest, we are all judged by our appearance and in the professional world you can’t afford to be lazy about it. I was inspired to write this after we passed a dress code policy at 8THIRTYFOUR. I want my employees to be comfortable but first impressions are everything. Adding some wardrobe staples to your closet will make all the difference…and stop using the excuse you can’t afford it – I showcase multiple affordable options.

How to give a memorable interview
For anyone entering the workforce or those that are looking for a refresher/tips, this blog hits all of the key points while also being wildly entertaining…ok, mildly entertaining. After our second or third intern interview, my managing director and myself looked at each other and said “what just happened?” How could simple etiquette not be applied to all human interaction, much less an interview?

I really, really, really want to get your feedback on the Small Biz Musings blog. As much as I entertain myself with my own writing…I hope it gives you some worthwhile information and tips.

Feel free to email me directly, kim@834design.com.

Back in September the news out of D.C. was the reversal of the pay gap rule put in place by the Obama administration. After reading about it, I started thinking about women in the workforce and what it means to be a female leader in this day and age.

As much as I would like to tell you that I have never been treated differently due to my gender, I can’t.

There are situations I look back on now, as a business owner, and I know that if I was of the opposite sex the outcome would have been much different.

There were times, I would ask a male colleague to go to a meeting with me for a prospective client because I knew he would have their respect by just walking into the room. I, on the other hand, would have to earn it. They would direct questions to him and I would answer them, they thought nothing of it.

I’ve been asked to schedule appointments, take meeting notes, coordinate something with an admin, work outside the contract, have a ‘feelings’ meeting because my to-the-point communication style offended an employee of a client…I wish I was making this up. Each of these alone seems minuscule but when they all pile on top of each other, it starts to really wear on you. I have owned 8THIRTYFOUR for 10 years and have been asked questions a male business owner would never be asked.

I am proud to be a women-owned business and the opportunities that has afforded me far outweigh the negative. The lesson in all of this is that we can only control how we react to situations. Don’t let them see you sweat.

Is gratitude lost in todays society, never to be found again? Am I jaded in thinking that younger professionals want things handed to them without first working for it? It would seem the self-worth of millennials is much higher than others perceive it to be. Is this anyone else’s experience?

I want to share a few pieces of advice for young professionals from an old 38 year old.

1. See a need and fill it. Don’t wait for your boss or work buddy to ask for help, offer. If they need something and you are able to help, then do it. Think of others before yourself. This doesn’t mean you become someones doormat, it means you make yourself irreplaceable. A well-rounded professional is self-aware and observant of those around them.
2. Say thanks. I don’t care if it is the minuscule thing, say thank you. A server takes you order, say thank you. You are praised by a colleague, boss or whomever – say thank you. Those two words are so powerful and should be the most used in your vocabulary.
3. Self-reflect. Recognize and acknowledge the opportunities that have been afforded to you. It is so hard as human beings to not take things for granted. Some of the worst bosses I ever had, taught me the most valuable professional lessons. Really reflect on where you are in your career, the culture you exist in and the other individuals around you. Being reflective and thoughtful can save you a lot of headaches in the future.
4. Learn by example. Who in your company or professional circle do you admire or wish to emulate? What has been their career path? Find out their story, the hard work they put in to get where they are and then learn from it.
5. Be patient. You will not know everything overnight and you are not going to be a leader by saying you are. That isn’t how it works, wouldn’t that be nice if it was? I have spent the last 10 years of my life growing 834 and I failed a lot and pretty spectacularly, if I do say so myself. Before 834 I had 2 great jobs and 2 really terrible jobs. I learned from both and better understood my capabilities and weaknesses.

What is most important for young professionals is perspective. Your first job out of college is your opportunity to prove yourself and work your ass off. You will not be handed anything, you will not be coddled and there will not be “safe places” where you can feel feelings.

Regardless of how great you think you are, it isn’t your opinion of yourself that matters. It is how other professionals and management see you and that, is completely up to you.

Negotiation is a part of every aspect of our life. In your personal life it could be trying to get your spouse to do a chore or run an errand. In your professional life it might involve a raise, increase in a client’s budget or a lease on new office space.

Negotiation is a bit like conflict resolution, it makes people uncomfortable. Asking for more money or a concession is not easy, what it is…is necessary and part of life.

So…how do you become a better negotiator? Here are a few tips from me and Harvard Business Review (HBR), we’ll see if you can tell the difference.

1. Use humor. Not everything in life has to be so damn serious. The first thing I do when entering an awkward conversation is admit it is awkward. This usually sets people at ease and opens the floor for an honest discussion.
2. Change the setting. Go grab a beer and review that contract. Taking someone out of their everyday setting can lighten the mood and loosen everyone up. I mean, a cocktail or two helps lessen the tension.
3. Smartness or as they say IQ. According to Harvard Business Review, people with higher IQs tend to approach negotiations in a more cooperative or collaborative way. They also have some really witty, intelligent responses. Some people are just good on their feet. For those of us that are not, refer to #1.
4. Self-awareness. HBR has this to say about those of us that are self reflective – we all have mental models to interpret other people’s behaviors, and awareness of these models is key to influencing how people think of us. What this also means is narcissistic individuals are at a disadvantage, as they have no ability to see past themselves.

The deal is you get the ability to choose how you approach the convo, what you say and ultimately how you react.

What tips do you have for negotiation?

Everyone wants to be a leader, until you are and then you most definitely don’t. There are a lot of misconceptions on leadership, like you will have minions to do everything for you. Listen, this isn’t the Devil Wears Prada and employees sure as hell won’t stick around if you treat them that way. They are not there to get you coffee, hang your coat, drop off dry cleaning or pick up your lunch.

Promotions are great and all, but do you really know what you are in for? Management will not make your life easier, in fact it will make your life much, much harder. You won’t only be responsible for your own work, but now you have people that report to you that need your direction. Everything that comes out of your department/division is your responsibility. The buck stops with you. Mistakes – your fault

A colleague gave me this analogy – being a leader is climbing up the ladder of responsibility and pulling up those that report to you. Your work load just doubled. It is not easy and it is a constant learning curve.

Failure is part of leadership, along with hard work. You have to give your employees the tools to succeed and empower them to make decisions and mistakes. How will they learn if you are always doing for them?

What do you think?

Quitters never prosper. Don’t be a quitter.

We’ve all heard it before, but when is it time to throw in the towel?

As a small business owner, when do you know that you have done enough? When do you determine it is time to part ways with a client,  difficult colleague, or an employee? We make these decisions more often in our personal lives than we do in our professional world. Why is that?

Small business owners are very solution-focused, we have to be. You can’t cut and run at the first sign of an issue, we think things to death until we develop a plan to move forward. Just ask our significant others, they love this about us.

I am here to tell you – sometimes shit just isn’t going to work and it is ok to quit. I feel like there is a reason shit rhymes with quit. Maybe they are meant to go hand-in-hand.

You will know in your gut the decision you need to make. Here are a few reminders on why quitting is important.

1. Your health is affected. Sleep is f**ked up. If you are tossing and turning all night long and having dreams about whatever the situation is, it is affecting your health. Apparently sleep is necessary – who knew? Is your Anxiety off the charts? Constant burning in your stomach? Headaches? Pressure on your chest? Let’s just say I have been there and it doesn’t go away by ignoring the situation. If anything it gets worse over time.
2. You’re miserable. Do you dread interaction with this individual? Does your stomach do a flip just thinking about it? Why keep that in your life? What good is that doing you or anyone else?
3. The wrong reasons. Are you trying to make the relationship work for the wrong reasons? Many of us will keep at it because we don’t want to be labeled a quitter. If you are having a hard time defending or finding reason, then it is a sure sign it is time to move on.
4. Priorities or vision has changed. If you have a client that doesn’t fit where you are headed as a company, then it is time to part ways. Don’t drag it out, rip off the band-aid.
5. The future is uncertain. Can you honestly see the relationship going anywhere? Plenty of relationships run their course over time, such as college or high school friends. Why should this be any different?

It’s cool to be a quitter. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, small business owners will never be known for taking the easy way out.