I’ve been running a business for around 13 years, if there is one thing I hate above all else it is the questions women are asked that no one would even think to ask a man.

First, let me define sexism for readers. Merriam-Webster defines it as:

• How do you balance work and life? Um…is that even a serious question? I run a business, no one has fucking work/life balance you twit.
• How old are your kids? This one is my favorite, I’m not even asked if I have kids, it is a given I would have them…because what woman doesn’t fulfill the role they are placed on this earth for? By the way, sarcasm is heavy in this blog. Read on if you dare.
• How is your little business doing? Oh really good, between keeping up on housework and making delicious meals for my husband, I have managed to run a business for 13 years that is fueled on the tears of interns.
• How does your husband deal with your schedule? I don’t know, I chain him to a bed and feed him periodically…seems to be fine when I see him.
• Do you only hire attractive females? Yep, all ugly trolls are stopped at the door and sent on their way.
• How does your husband feel about all the men you spend time with? What a great question! Well, I make sure any male that is within 10 feet of me is made aware that I am happily married, then I flash my ring in his face and only talk about what a wonderful man my husband is…I make sure to really drive that point home. I also review my schedule with my husband every Sunday so he knows who I’m meeting with and when, he then gives me permission to run my business.
• There is still time to have kids. I know, I know, this isn’t a question…it’s a statement…which should say it all.
• Who will take care of you in your old age? If that is your retirement plan, you are a moron. What kid wants to be strapped with their aging parents? I plan to have 100 dogs and they will probably eat me when I pass away. Too much? Ah well, thanks for asking.

I had to stop at eight or this blog was going to be a novel, maybe there will be part 2, depends on demand.

Before you get all defensive, I know these questions are not ill-intended but that in no way makes them excusable. 

Stop. Think. Then open mouth.

I’m really sick of answering these questions, I’m also sick of women being viewed as a weaker sex that somehow can’t share in the same accomplishments as a man. As women, we get defensive and begin listing all the things we do, manage and keep together to ensure everyone around us is taken care of…and we need to stop.

Listen up ladies, stop being so damn nice about sexism. Be sarcastic, forceful, abrasive, aggressive, forward (all the adjectives that are used against us) in your responses.

For example “Why don’t you have kids?”

My Answer: “My uterus was ripped out by scavenging bears, I’m lucky to be alive…thanks for bringing up that painful memory.”

See, easy peasy. Don’t let sexism win or be excused.

I just got back from a relaxing vacation with my girlfriends, we spent our days laying on the beach, sipping cocktails and reading.

Instead of fully enjoying my vacation, I allowed negative thoughts and self-doubt to creep in the entire time.

These are thoughts I am uncomfortable sharing, because it leaves me vulnerable (and I have a reputation to uphold), however I am hoping by opening myself up you’ll cut yourself some slack.

Thought 1: I’m fat

How can I wear this suit? I would give anything for her body. I need to lose weight, eat better, drink less, exercise. I’m so gross, how can my husband even find me sexy. I hate my legs, my arms, my stomach.

I know I’m not alone in having these thoughts. How sad is it that instead of relishing the fact that I am in the Keys, hanging out with amazing women, I allow self-criticism to sneak in.

Love the body your in, so what if you have wrinkles, love handles, age spots, cellulite, thighs that rub, a plump stomach – who gives a shit.

The more often we tell each other we are beautiful, the sooner we will start to embrace who we are and ignore that voice in our head.

Thought 2: I shouldn’t be vacationing

Why did I take this vacation? There is too much going on at work, I should be at the office. If I pick up a book to read for leisure, I think “I should be reading that business book, I purchased.”

Why is it that when we take time for ourselves, the guilt creeps in. As a small business owner, I need to be working all the time – that is what I signed up for…right?

Thought 3: I’ll never be good enough

This one is a combination of all the negativity that swirls around in my head, aimed at myself.

• I suck at running my business
• I am a terrible manager
• I am an awful friend
• I don’t spend enough time with the dogs
• I am neglecting my husband
• I need to not eat that
• Don’t drink that
• I look terrible in this

If you looked at me, you would think – damn she is confident, isn’t afraid to say what she thinks, she is strong…blah blah blah. We all have self-doubts, I have a lot of them. There are times it is crippling and I go into hiding. My friends have dubbed it, “hermiting.” I don’t answer the phone, refuse to leave the house, lay in bed – I’m depressed, burned out, tired.

We expect so much of ourselves and refuse to grant ourselves any grace. Lets be the grace for each other. Reach out to another woman today and tell them they are worthy, beautiful and loved.

On this International Women’s Day, embrace your strength and cut yourself some damn slack. You are worthy.

One of the most important skills a person can possess is the ability to listen. In a world where phones are beeping, watches are buzzing and emails are popping up…we are constantly pulled away.

I, myself, am a terrible listener, ask anyone. I am easily distracted, ooh shiny object, and I have a hard time concentrating on one task at a time. I want to jump all over the place and I am certain I have some undiagnosed something – adderall anyone?

These tips are for all the recovering non-listeners. There is nothing more rude than a person having to repeat themselves multiple times, because you are not listening. Just ask my husband.

1. Prioritize it in the workplace. Encourage listening by setting an example. Put away your phone or other distraction, make eye contact, be conscious of nonverbals and actively engage.
2. Pay attention to nonverbals. I took a class in college titled ‘Nonverbal Communication,’ thinking it would be a fluff course – I was wrong. A substantial portion of our communication is nonverbal. Every day, we respond to thousands on nonverbal cues and behaviors including postures, facial expression, eye gaze, gestures, and tone of voice.
3. Don’t interrupt. This is a tough one, I am very impatient and if I feel someone is taking too long to get to the point, I jump in and make it for them. Trust me, that is a dick move.

Encourage a ‘no interruption’ policy at work. Have employees take note of something they heard during the day, that the can then share with the rest of the team.

When your culture is focused on listening and observing, staff is happier and clients will take note.

Be comfortable with change is the best piece of advice I can offer you. Life is going to throw a lot of curve balls your way, so line up to catch them and throw them the f**k back.

8THIRTYFOUR is 12 years old (maybe 13 – I lose track) and there is not a single day that I wasn’t surprised or caught off-guard by something; there is a reason people don’t own businesses – it is fucking hard. If you can become comfortable with things constantly being in influx, and create a plan for how to deal with disruptions – you almost begin to look forward to them (that is 100% an exaggeration), the good thing is you know how to tackle the unexpected, deal with it and move on.

The other fun part about change is communicating throughout the entire organization, in a way that is positive and exciting. Anytime there is change, there is opportunity. Stop looking at change as a disruption, instead see the possibilities that accompany it.

Next time the unexpected happens, do the following.

1. Breathe. Don’t react. Any action you take within the first 15 minutes of a disruption, is going to be reactionary and definitely not well-thought out.
2. Ponder. If I know a big decision is coming, I reflect on it. I take a few days, sometimes a week (if time allows) and let my mind look at all the possibilities.
3. Analyze. Now that you have slowed down and pondered, it is time to determine the ripple effects on your company, staff, community, personal life etc.
4. Plan. You have thought it out and you know what you have to do, write it out, timeline it and communicate it.
5. Go. Get moving, you have the plan and the ability to turn this disruption into an opportunity.

Remember, when shit hits the fan – find the opportunity and put on your positive pants.

My favorite subject is small business and through the 8THIRTYFOUR Happy Hour Hustle podcast, WGVU Your Biz Your Town radio show with Shelley Irwin or this blog, I am constantly promoting the amazing businesses in our community.

Small Business Saturday is tomorrow and while this is mostly for retailers, it is a good opportunity to shine the spotlight on all small businesses.

Starting and growing a business is daunting, to say the least, but you are not alone. There are some amazing organizations in our state that are here to help. This blog is dedicated to just a few of them, who have assisted 8THIRTYFOUR over the years.

Small Business Development Center (SBDC)
When I was starting 8THIRTYFOUR, I needed a crash course in business finance and SBDC offers financial counseling and much, much more. They offer expert assistance at NO cost to entrepreneurs looking to start or grow their business. You heard that right, their services are FREE.

The SBDC is headquartered within Grand Valley State University with 11 regional offices and more than 20 satellite offices.

I just recently reengaged their services to assist us in our Entrepreneurial Operating System journey, they offer facilitated sessions to ensure you are properly implementing.

Find out more by visiting, sbdcmichigan.org.

Small Business Association of Michigan (SBAM)
If you know me, then you know I am very involved with SBAM, with over 26,000 members it is the only statewide and state-based association that focuses solely on serving the needs of Michigan’s small business community.They have been successfully serving small businesses in all 83 counties of Michigan since 1969.

As a business owner, the ability to meet, network and commiserate with other owners is priceless. They keep us informed of policies at the state and national level that will affect our businesses and provide opportunities for us collaborate and partner.

Find out more at sbam.org.

There are many more great orgs, such as Grand Rapids Opportunities for Women, local chambers and Inforum Michigan. Determine what your need is then reach out to one of these great resources to take your business to the next level.

Are there others that should be on the list? Add them in the comments below.

Change is inevitable; we have all heard it before – but many of us seldom do anything about it. I had the opportunity to hear Josh Linkner speak last week at the Small Business Association of Michigan (SBAM) Leadership Council Summit and it was a great reminder that business owners need to focus on reinvention to remain relevant.

Josh wrote the bestselling book, The Road to Reinvention which discusses how businesses fail to reinvent with disastrous results. I started 8THIRTYFOUR to introduce an alternative to the traditional agency model. We focus on deliverables, not hours. We strategize, then implement. We leverage all communication mediums to deliver integrated measured results. At the time, the concept was unique and hard for people to wrap their heads around, in fact it took years building relationships and delivering results before it paid off.

Imagine if your competitors had the same exact product as you and all of you delivered it the same way – how would you stand out? What makes you different?

If we, as business owners, don’t take a different approach and innovate, then how do you ensure your business will be there tomorrow or 3 years from now?

Josh used the example of Kmart and their Ship My Pants campaign. Kmart was struggling to stand out from competition and remain relevant when competing with the likes of Amazon and other online giants. The campaign did exactly what it was designed to do, create buzz. Kmart had a HUGE opportunity, to build on the momentum and improve the online user experience, customer service and more. They didn’t. Change was too hard and they held onto their antiquated retail model…and well the rest is history (no really – they are history).

Dedicate time and resources to big picture ideas and don’t be afraid to take a risk – it could pay off in dividends.

If you live in Grand Rapids, chances are you have seen the controversy surrounding the Grand Rapids Chamber of Commerce’s decision to endorse Republican Gubernatorial candidate, Bill Schuette.

8THIRTYFOUR, along with multiple other businesses chose to cancel their Chamber memberships in a show of solidarity with the LGBTQ community and women everywhere.

While the Chamber defended it’s decision by stating that Schuette is business friendly and that is in line with their mission within the community, I beg to differ.

You see, diversity and inclusion are just good business. More than 40% of LGB (and almost 90% of transgender) individuals have experienced discrimination, harassment, or mistreatment in the workplace. This is not only unacceptable; it’s also bad for business.

If you’re implementing policies and fostering an inclusive workplace, you’re likely to reap these benefits:

• Increased productivity: members of the LGBTQ community can focus their energy on their actual work, instead of worrying about their health and safety.
• Better ideas: Similarly, a welcoming culture fosters creativity and better ideas from all team members.
• Improved public image: perception matters.
  • 23% of LGBT adults have switched products or services because a different company was supportive of the LGBT community, even if the new brand was costlier or less convenient.
  • 97% of LGBTQ adults said they are likely to consider a brand providing equal workplace benefits (glad.org).
• Decreased talent expenses: LGBTQ members of your team who are able to be open and out about their true identities are more likely to remain in their current position, and stay loyal to your company. This reduces turnover and saves you on costly recruitment expenses.
• Decreased health expenses: improved health is a common result of a welcoming workplace, keeping your healthcare expenses lower.

So, you see, inclusivity is not just good for the heart, it’s good for business.

Most entrepreneurs and business owners fail terribly a leading. No one tells you when you start your business, that you will someday have to manage an entire team. At the time, you are too busy trying to not go broke. It’s probably a good thing that most entrepreneurs can’t see past the week they’re living in, we would have a nervous breakdown.

Over my 11 years at 8THIRTYFOUR, I’ve stumbled upon the following lessons (and I mean stumbled).

1. You are in the spotlight. Whether you like it or not, everyone is watching what you do. Your employees, community, clients, partners, family, dog…you name it; your every action and decision is under the microscope. Self-awareness is key, especially after you make a bad decision.
2. Personal and professional is blurred. Most people spend more time with their co-workers than they do their own families, which means you will know a lot about each individual that reports to you. A good work environment, encourages team bonding and presents opportunities for employees/managers to get to know each other on a more personal level. The catch is, you will know WAY more than you want to about your employees. Safeguard that information and respect their privacy.
3. Not everyone is a winner. This may seem harsh, but when we started moving to EOS® (Entrepreneurial Operating System®), it took the emotion out of staff/employee decisions. You have to make the right decisions for the company and that means, right person/right position. Rip the bandaid off when it comes to low performers, if they are not a fit for your culture, then work with them to transition to a new job.
4. Everyone looks to you for the answer. You are going to get asked a lot of questions, some you know, most you don’t. Unfortunately for you, you’re the only one they can go to. Empower employees to make their own decisions, but also have designated times they can come to you with questions and solutions.
5. Leadership is lonely. I wrote a pretty emotional and raw blog about this awhile back, running a business is hard. You can’t delegate running the company to someone else, if a big problem hits – buck stops with you.

What leadership lessons would you share? I am always open to learning and adapting based on what I learn. Great leaders don’t happen overnight, they make a lot of mistakes on the way.

The worst bosses I ever had…were women. I know I am not alone, many share the same experiences. These experiences have driven me to be a better leader and to cultivate opportunities for my employees that I never had. As a business owner (regardless of my gender), I need to live by example.

When reflecting back on my worst bosses, I realized they did teach me valuable leadership lessons.

1. Be transparent. By being clear with expectations for each role in your company, your employees know what is expected of them. Share with them the vision and 1 year, 3 year and 10 year goals. Understanding they are a part of something bigger, drives them to contribute in a more strategic way.
2. Support professional growth. When an employee grows professionally, the company benefits. Provide opportunities for community engagement, leadership training and more. We work with our employees to develop a professional development plan that we support as a firm.
3. Be intentional with culture. You want employees to look forward to coming to work each day. We purposefully build team bonding into our schedule – whether it is Friday Sangria or a BBQ at my house to share an updated company strategy to working on a patio for the afternoon. Employees work hard, reward them with some flexibility and fun.
4. Lead by example. This is by far the most important. We have all had those bosses that tells us one thing and do another. While I am out of the office a lot, I make it a priority to attend our team meetings, bonding sessions and hit deadlines.

Use your past ‘bad boss’ situations to drive yourself to be a better leader. Sometimes our worst experiences can be our best education.

I was labeled a pessimist the other day and my first reaction was to be defensive. Let’s be honest, pessimism is not viewed favorably; we are considered the Eeyores of the world, which is associated with negativity.

Side note: Someone had to be a pessimist in that group. Pooh had no common sense, Tigger was rash and reactive in his decision making and Piglet was terrified of his own shadow. They probably should have given Eeyore a little more credit.

Being a pessimist, that’s right I’ll admit it, has allowed me to succeed as a business owner. I do not walk around singing show tunes, I have a serious case of RBF (resting bitch face) and past bosses have called me abrasive and pushy. All of this is true, although I do occasionally hum the Greatest Showman soundtrack, and I am not going to apologize for it.

The way I approach a lot of situations in the business world are grounded in my pessimistic tendencies and have built a successful foundation for 8THIRTYFOUR.

1. I always analyze the shit out of everything. I overthink every interaction, situation, communication…and it has made me very intuitive when faced with difficult decisions. I notice everything…everything.
2. I hope for the best and plan for the worst. Running a business is really, really hard and it is a journey full of constant twists and turns – you have to plan for the unexpected. You also need to roll with the punches, which is not something us pessimists do well.
3. My self-awareness is off the charts. I take criticism well and it has made me a better boss and colleague. I internalize, overthink it and at times make myself sick over it…but the process is well-worth the results.

While pessimism has served me well, it needs to be in moderation. It cannot take over your life; use it to motivate you, but remember to take time to focus and reflect on the great things.

Lastly, don’t be ashamed to be a pessimist, own it and acknowledge the good that comes from it.

P.S. Being a pessimist is good for your health.