We have a saying at our office, “keep the monkey.” Yeah, it’s weird, but here is the point. You’ve heard people say, “I have a monkey on my back.” They’re referring to a problem or issue they can’t resolve that is hanging over their head. Human nature is to pass the monkey off to someone else so you get it off your back and move on. The issue is, the monkey is now the next person’s problem.

It’s also really f*cking lazy and kind of a dick move to just “pass the buck” or monkey, if you will. Basically you didn’t feel like solving it so you made it someone else’s problem. It drives me INSANE. For example, you ask, “hey so and so, where is the file for this?” Instead of looking where you know the file is, you are asking someone else to do it for you, cause it was easier to make them do it then to find the answer yourself. Stop it.

I was actually just chatting with some of my staff today about this! Someone reached out to us with a question, something they could’ve easily resolved themselves. In fact, they asked the exact same question the month before…let me repeat…exact same question. What do we do? We drop everything to respond and find the answer for them. Here’s the issue with that.

• Productivity for the day was thrown off to be reactive to another person’s “question.”
• Multiple team members also jumped into assist…cause that’s how we do at 8THIRTYFOUR. Now several people are working on this person’s issue ahem question.
• Now we’re all frustrated and venting to each other, so there’s that.
• And now I’m writing this blog cause I’m annoyed.

This is not an uncommon occurrence within companies, in fact, we’ve addressed it multiple times as a team. You might be asking yourself, “what’s the big deal, just find the answer and move on.” Sure, sure – fair enough. What if you receive 15 emails, chats, or calls like this every day? Suddenly you’re spending half your day “putting out fires.” Other people’s fires.

Here’s what you do.

• Don’t respond immediately.
• Set aside time in your schedule/calendar to dig into the issue.
• Respond to said lazy person with “I’ll check into this sometime this week and circle back (throw some passive-aggressiveness in there) once I’ve had a chance to look into.”
• Then wait…9 times out of 10, the person will solve their issue before you even have to do anything.
• If that doesn’t work, push back. Do it respectfully (that’s where don’t respond immediately comes in), give it a breather, and then deal with it.

The best thing you can do is to not respond right away, you have to set boundaries or you’ll continue to be derailed by these damn monkeys and before you know it, you’re running a f*cking zoo (and writing blogs about it).

So, 2020 has been a bit of a challenge. I believe the word tossed around frequently is “unprecedented.”

I’ve been talking to my small biz friends and we are all feeling a bit overwhelmed, now this isn’t a new feeling for any of us, but we are in uncharted waters and making decisions we thought we would never be presented with.

I talked about how I pivoted the business to ensure there was a business, but no one could have anticipated that 6 months later we would still be dealing with this and the mental health toll it is taking on all of us.

I’ve all but given up on sleeping since all I do is dream (more like a nightmare) about everything we’re dealing with. Here is just a sampling of what small business owners are dealing with.

• Work from home fatigue
• Going back to work safely
• Understanding liability around COVID-19
• Keeping employees protected
• Ensuring employees are happy
• Ensuring employees have all the resources to do their job whether remote or in the office
• Maintaining positivity at all times (until you can finish off a bottle or two of wine on the weekend)
• Supporting and listening
• Financial woes
• Unreliability of the USPS
• Business development
• Talent attraction and retention

That is by no means a complete list, but it’s what I could name off the top of my head.

The amount of crushing pressure business owners are under right now is ridiculous. We have had to become master EO interpreters, therapists, cleaning supply procurement specialists, negotiators, hypemen, half glass full people, mindreaders, master problem solvers, solution providers, Zoom prodigies…and the list goes on.

I guess what I want you to take away from this blog, we’re feeling really f*cking alone right now and quite frankly we feel singlehandedly responsible for keeping our doors open and our employees happy and it’s really, really exhausting.

Reach out to a business owner, or if you are employed by a business owner – maybe tell them you appreciate them because they’re doing the best they can.

I know we’re all sick of the word pivot, but I gotta finish the blog series so just hold on through this last part. If you’re new to this riveting blog series, read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Let’s wrap this sucker up and discuss the painful steps I had to take as a business owner to ensure my company survived and continues to survive this damn pandemic.

Step 3: Planning

Our office manager and I spent a lot of time on this phase, we sat through countless calls and webinars with the Grand Rapids Chamber and the Small Business Association of Michigan determining how to implement what we had learned in the education phase.

The key to our success, thus far, is absolutely the people and companies we surrounded ourselves with. Always hire people smarter than you and retain companies that possess the expertise you don’t.

The first thing we did was map out our priorities and the steps we needed to take:

• Finances: We knew we had to layoff staff immediately, apply for funds available through grants and the federal government, and cut expenses. We determined what grants we would go after, identified the information we would need to apply, and then reached out to our accountants at Hungerford Nichols to pick their brains on other options.
• Layoff: I pride myself on being very transparent and honest with my staff. Once we made the difficult decision to layoff two staff members, we set a date and asked other staff to work from home that morning to respect the privacy of our two employees. Our office manager sat down with each of them and assisted them in applying for unemployment as well as providing them the information they needed from 8THIRTYFOUR. We also checked in with them weekly to see if we could offer any other assistance.
• Staff conversation: We spoke with staff immediately and let them know the tough decision we made. We answered any questions they had and talked about next steps. I honestly thought they would think I failed them, I certainly felt like I did. They were amazing, I honestly could not ask for a better team, they were understanding, complimentary, and appreciative. It was an incredible relief the way they handled it.
• Work from home: I know of multiple companies that struggled with their employees working from home. It was definitely a transition for us. We wrote up a policy, purchased Zoom to stay connected, and adhered to our same hours…although I had to step in when staff was working too much. It’s one of the reasons we wrote the blog on working from home guilt. I was concerned they would become burned out.
• Staff morale: Our team thrives on togetherness, we all really like each other, and being a small team we are pretty tightknit, not to mention very social. To keep spirits up, I sent packages bi-weekly to their homes. I sent a journal with notecards, an inspirational book, and a coloring book and markers. It was as much for me as for them, I wanted them to know how much I appreciated them.
• Worst case scenario: My leadership team and I mapped out our worst-case scenarios to help us plan our steps to recover. We outlined milestones that if we hit we would take the next step in the plan. For example, if we lost another client, we would cut staff salaries or we would negotiate our office rent.

Step 4: Action

I’m not going to map out every action we took, but below is what we were absolutely consistent on which I truly believe set us up for success.

• Daily internal check-ins
• SBAM daily briefings, including the weekend
• Calls and emails with our banker, accountant, and lawyer
• Research, research, and more research. We read every piece of information out there – PPP, EOs, and every other acronym.

We also worked around the clock, we had calls on the weekend and were in constant contact. Well, things have started to settle down, we know returning to work is our next big priority.

We lost revenue, employees, and a lot of peace of mind…but we survived. Years from now I will reread these blogs to give myself some much-needed perspective when things seem dire for a completely different reason.

Let’s get back to where we left off in Part 1: Pivot!, I wanted to go into more detail about the steps we took, the organizations that stepped up in a big way and how we set 8THIRTYFOUR up to move forward.

To say life changed overnight for us would be an understatement, it was like all that we knew was turned on its head and we had to start rebuilding immediately. What I’m going to share with you below, we outlined in less than 24 hours and implemented in less than 48 hours. There are 4 phases – assess, educate, plan and action; we’ll cover the first two in this blog. We are still in the action phase, which we anticipate will last us for a while.

The reason we were successful, was because we acted quickly, we had tough, honest discussions as a leadership team, we each had a role and we took ownership and because our culture was built on honesty, transparency, and empathy. If we were not an EOS company and we didn’t have the existing culture we had, I can honestly say we would be one of the businesses that closed our doors forever.

Step 1: Assess:

As soon as we lost business, we took a hard look at our finances, current workload, and asked ourselves the following:

1. What $$ was anticipated within the next 30 days? What did we actually expect to receive?
2. With that revenue number in hand, we then took a look at expenses – utilities, rent, salaries, technology, and more. What could we cut? Where could we negotiate? What could we delay?

We had our numbers, we had our projections and now we needed to anticipate next steps:

1. If we cut staff, would the workload be manageable for the remaining staff? What slack would leadership need to pick up?
2. If cutting staff isn’t enough, how much could we scale back salaries temporarily and still retain employees?
3. What other clients would we lose? How would this impact us on a monthly basis?
4. What options are out there for us for financial support?

We imagined the worst-case scenario and then we planned back from there.

Step 2: Educate

I honestly believe this is an area where a lot of businesses dropped the ball, and it caused a lot of anger and ultimately some pretty disgusting protests at the capital. At the end of the day, you can only control what you can control and you gotta suck it up and move forward. This shit is hard on everyone, I have zero tolerance for whining and anger. It is your job as a business owner to educate yourself and explore every possible resource out there, instead of sitting around bitching about how unfair life is. Do that by yourself with a bottle of wine, your employees deserve better.

In the beginning, no one had any idea on how long this would last, how our businesses would be affected, or what we could even do to offset the inevitable hurt coming our way.

The following organizations, associations, and companies were our lifeline.

1. Small Business Association of Michigan: Each day at 3:00 p.m., SBAM held briefings to share the latest news, resources, and what small businesses could expect moving forward. Every single day, including weekends. It was invaluable, they pivoted their entire operation and all staff was focused on COVID-19 and helping small businesses navigate the new normal. This was how we got the much-needed clarification on the PPP (paycheck protection program).
2. Grand Rapids Chamber: I wasn’t personally on these calls, but our office manager was. The topics ranged from laying off employees, PPP, financial assistance, insurance and safely reopening. I have never been more grateful for my membership.
3. Hungerford Nichols: Our accounting firm is a bunch of badasses. They checked in, just to see how we were and answered the countless questions we had around taxes and PPP. Heather, their marketing person sent me messages each week with words of encouragement. I love this company.
4. West Michigan Law: Our lawyer Adam is funny, sarcastic and blunt – it’s everything you could ever want for legal representation. I had the most random questions for him and texted him at all hours. In response, I got sound advice and some pretty great memes.

Let’s be honest, anything the government put out was unclear and difficult to navigate, these organizations stepped up in a big big way, working around the clock to help us. It wasn’t just companies, it was the countless people that reached out to me and the list is long. I had the support of other business owners, friends, colleagues, and family. I wrote a note for these peeps, I’ll share access to soon.

In part 3 of this riveting blog series, I’ll tackle the planning and action phase.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, been a little busy ensuring we survive this damn pandemic. Priorities, I suppose.

The first week, we lost over $15,000 in revenue a month, which does not include the clients who simply couldn’t pay but would when able. This happened on a Tuesday, by Thursday I made the difficult decision to lay off 2 employees. This was all within 3 days. As a small business owner, you don’t get the luxury to debate a decision for weeks or months, you have to make the shittiest decisions in days, if not 24 hours.

I’ve always been the individual that identifies the worst-case scenario and then plans for it. Quite frankly, it’s why 8THIRTYFOUR has been around for 13 years. It isn’t exactly the most pleasant way to live your life, but it has made me a survivor in both my personal and professional life.

After employees were laid off, I sat down (when you could still do so in person) with my leadership team and we took a hard look at finances. What was our projected revenue, actual revenue and revenue lost and what did we anticipate losing in the future. Once we had the worst-case scenario mapped out, we came up with a plan to retain existing employees ideally at their current rate of pay – we had another plan if that wasn’t possible. We then strategized on how to communicate the need for marketing at a time when everyone was hurting financially, and then we put some money behind it and then launched the campaign.

So, we took action, made a plan, and then starting implementing. In other words, we pivoted…we hella pivoted. I saw a lot of business owners being hit hard, I knew some had to shut their doors indefinitely. There were two groups with two very different mindsets: 1. This f*cking sucks, but it is what it is and I gotta pivot; 2. We will never recover, how could the ____ (insert name) do this to us, it is everyone’s fault. I will now rant and rave on social media. The one thing they agreed on, it sucks, what set them apart was how they chose to respond.

I’ll map out the steps we took as a company in the next blog, but simply put it was assessment, education, planning and action.

If I hear the word “unprecedented” one more time, I’m going to scream. We are being bombarded by news by the time we wake up to the time we finally put our phones down and go to bed…then we dream about it. Everyone keeps giving advice on how to weather this storm, what to spend your time doing or how you should be acting during this time…well screw that.

Here is my non-advice, take it or leave it…because no one gets to decide how you deal with this shitstorm, but you.

Eat whatever you want

Stop showing me healthy recipes and workouts I can do from home. If I feel like moving, I’ll move. This may be considered terrible advice, but eat what you want, drink what you want and shower if you feel like it. We may all come out of this a few pounds heavier, so embrace it and eat your feelings. If you want that extra glass of wine (or bottle), no one is stopping you. The best part about this situation is the only one judging you is your dog and they’re just happy you’re around them 24/7.

Write about it

I sent my team journals to document this “unprecedented” time in our history. Write those feelings down, whether it is how you hid in a closet all day to escape your children or watched The Tiger King for the 14th time. In a year or two when you are dealing with what feels like an insurmountable situation, look back on this time and it will give you a much-needed perspective.

Adopt a friend

Seems like every time something crazy happens in the world, people dump their pets. By the way, if this is you, you’re an asshole. Help out a local animal shelter by fostering, it will keep you from going insane and you’ll save a life. That’s a win-win if you ask me.

Bring back letter writing

I’ve been mailing notes and cards out at a record pace. You wouldn’t believe the joy people experience when they get words of encouragement in the mail. My buddy Ashley and I have done this for years, neither one of us enjoys talking on the phone so we write to each other. Write notes to local nursing home residents, they are stuck in quarantine and can’t have visitors.  Think about that the next time you are feeling bored or lonely, their life depends on self-isolation…so suck it up buttercup and do something nice for someone else.

Zoom a virtual happy hour

I just did this with my team on Friday, I even put make-up on and showered. It was a big day for me. Check-in on those friends,  preferably with a glass of wine in your hand. It’s kind of funny to watch people get drunk virtually. I’m particularly hilarious.

We don’t know when this will end, for all the small businesses out there and those currently unemployed I pray it is soon. In the meantime, surround yourself with the people and things that make you happy and don’t let anyone tell you the right way to “cope” or “isolate.” You wear those pajamas for the 14th day in the row and have that dance party in your living room with no one judging you (your dog is totally judging you).

You do you and fuck COVID-19.

As if running a small business wasn’t hard enough, now we’re dealing with a pandemic. At this point, no one has any idea what that will mean for second-stage companies (between 10 to 99 employees), so we sit and wait. Waiting is not something we do well as business owners.

Here is what we know:

• The financial market is taking a hit
• Events are being canceled
• Large companies are asking employees to work from home
• Our health care system is overwhelmed

Here is what we don’t know:

• When will the spread slow?
• How long will this go on?
• Will the market stabilize?
• What will the effect be on our businesses?

There are a few options for moving forward.

Curl Up in the Fetal Position Option

While a popular choice, it will more than likely cause an adverse effect on your business. While it is nice to bury your head in the sand or hide under your covers with your 200 rolls of toilet paper, it won’t solve anything and you’re contributing to the panic.

Educate and Respond Option

Personally, I suggest this option. I met with my leadership team today and we talked about the coronavirus. It was not something we wanted to address but for the business and employees, it was a necessity. We broke it down by what we knew, 1). We are a small company and for now, are as safe as we can be working at our office; 2). If you sniffle, you stay home; 3). We must conduct business as usual and continue to serve our clients; 4). It is important for us to continue to educate ourselves and make informed decisions and finally 5.) Don’t panic, it is not going to help anyone. Stay calm, informed and for the love of all that is holy; wash your hands.

There is so much we don’t know and human nature seems to be “fill in the blanks,” which only makes it worse.

We are all going to be ok.

I’ve been running a business for around 13 years, if there is one thing I hate above all else it is the questions women are asked that no one would even think to ask a man.

First, let me define sexism for readers. Merriam-Webster defines it as:

• How do you balance work and life? Um…is that even a serious question? I run a business, no one has fucking work/life balance you twit.
• How old are your kids? This one is my favorite, I’m not even asked if I have kids, it is a given I would have them…because what woman doesn’t fulfill the role they are placed on this earth for? By the way, sarcasm is heavy in this blog. Read on if you dare.
• How is your little business doing? Oh really good, between keeping up on housework and making delicious meals for my husband, I have managed to run a business for 13 years that is fueled on the tears of interns.
• How does your husband deal with your schedule? I don’t know, I chain him to a bed and feed him periodically…seems to be fine when I see him.
• Do you only hire attractive females? Yep, all ugly trolls are stopped at the door and sent on their way.
• How does your husband feel about all the men you spend time with? What a great question! Well, I make sure any male that is within 10 feet of me is made aware that I am happily married, then I flash my ring in his face and only talk about what a wonderful man my husband is…I make sure to really drive that point home. I also review my schedule with my husband every Sunday so he knows who I’m meeting with and when, he then gives me permission to run my business.
• There is still time to have kids. I know, I know, this isn’t a question…it’s a statement…which should say it all.
• Who will take care of you in your old age? If that is your retirement plan, you are a moron. What kid wants to be strapped with their aging parents? I plan to have 100 dogs and they will probably eat me when I pass away. Too much? Ah well, thanks for asking.

I had to stop at eight or this blog was going to be a novel, maybe there will be part 2, depends on demand.

Before you get all defensive, I know these questions are not ill-intended but that in no way makes them excusable. 

Stop. Think. Then open mouth.

I’m really sick of answering these questions, I’m also sick of women being viewed as a weaker sex that somehow can’t share in the same accomplishments as a man. As women, we get defensive and begin listing all the things we do, manage and keep together to ensure everyone around us is taken care of…and we need to stop.

Listen up ladies, stop being so damn nice about sexism. Be sarcastic, forceful, abrasive, aggressive, forward (all the adjectives that are used against us) in your responses.

For example “Why don’t you have kids?”

My Answer: “My uterus was ripped out by scavenging bears, I’m lucky to be alive…thanks for bringing up that painful memory.”

See, easy peasy. Don’t let sexism win or be excused.

A growing business is a blessing and a challenge. Hiring is one of the hardest endeavors, regardless of business size. When you have an entry-level position you are hiring for, you are most likely dealing with new grads or those with a year experience.

I have found these roles the most challenging to fill. The rule with the Entrepreneurial Operating System® (EOS®) is to hire slow, fire fast. We definitely have the first one down. Culture is such a fickle thing, that is incredibly important to find someone that will integrate well into your team, as well as do an exceptional job. Maybe I am biased but I want anyone I hire to stay with 8THIRTYFOUR for a long period of time, if not forever. I realize this is not realistic, but a business owner can dream.

Some of the scenarios I have encountered along our hiring journeys are listed below along with recommendations.

Applying

When drafting your cover letter, be sure to address it to someone within the organization. If you are not sure who (try Google and their website), call the company and ask for a name.  Never, ever address a cover letter “Dear hiring manager.” We are a small team, I am the hiring manager.

Other “mishaps” that will automatically drop you out of the running:

• Grammatical errors in your cover letter or resume. Seriously? Have someone proofread it or just run spellcheck.
• Addressing the cover letter to the wrong person. I have no words for this one.
• Having the name of the company you applied to previously…in the cover letter. Yeah, that’ll be a no for us.
• Misspelling the name of my company. This shows me you really did your research.
• Applying for the wrong position. Did you even read the job posting?
• Taking several days to respond to an interview request. Clearly, you are ready for the hustle and bustle of agency life. Don’t use the spam excuse, you can check that daily.
• Responding with salary requirements well outside the position range (when it is listed in the job posting). Thanks for wasting my time, also Google “cost of living in Grand Rapids vs. Chicago.”

The Interview

It can be nerve-wracking walking into a company and being cross-examined. Some of the scenarios we have encountered leave me completely baffled. Avoid these missteps.

• Showing up excessively early, be there 5 to 7 minutes early. Do not show up 15 to 20 minutes early.
• A limp handshake. Gross. A handshake should be firm, brief and strong.
• Dressing too casually. Even if you are applying for a company that has a laidback dress code, show up looking polished in a blazer or other appropriate office wear.
• Acting entitled. I have had interviewees request, in the interview, to work a 4 day week. Seriously?
• Negotiating raises and a higher salary in the interview, after already giving us your salary requirements. This should go without saying, do not bring up money in an interview. There is plenty of time to discuss compensation, raise structure, holidays, vacation time….after the offer.
• Preparing properly with research into the company should be a given. When asked why you are interested in working for us, have an answer prepared. Read recent blogs, review LinkedIn profiles, do a simple Google search and be prepared to ask questions on the company.

After The Interview

• Follow-up is encouraged, to a certain extent. Calling the office every day, then cell phones, sending emails, thank you notes, etc. is a little over the top. We will let you know when a decision has been made.
• Questioning the hiring process. Every candidate is different, meaning there are different interactions required prior to making a decision. Asking if “this is typical of your hiring process,” sends the entitlement vibe. Be thankful a company is investing in ensuring you are the right fit, so both parties don’t end up hoodwinked.
• Reaching out to all current employees. To a certain extent, this is encouraged, however when asking intrusive and somewhat combative questions…just don’t.
• If you are offered the job, congrats, don’t ask for a week to think it over. Don’t apply for the position, if your end goal is to not actually take the job.

I could go into more “what not to do” scenarios, but then this would turn into a novel. In my next blog, I’ll share stories of interviews that blew me away.

Have horror stories of your own? Share them in the comments below, please don’t let me be alone.

I had an interesting convo with my therapist the other day (more people should admit they see one, helps erase the stigma), we were chatting about the stress a business owner deals with every day and how it bleeds into every other aspect of your life. By the way, this was supposed to be marriage counseling, but it ended up just being me – that is a story there for another day.

In my therapist’s other life, he is a business coach. Which, if you think about it, makes perfect sense. I think what we often need, as business owners, someone to talk to with no judgment. We keep a lot of shit locked inside, we don’t want to bother our significant others, family or friends and not just that, they will never fully understand the struggle.

I wrote a blog a while back that talked about the loneliness a business owner faces. The blog is just as true today as 3 years ago when I wrote it.

What has been my saving grace in recent years is the network surrounding the Small Business Association of Michigan (SBAM). The group consists only of business owners, which means you are in a room with others that experience the same pain points, frustrations, and hurdles. It’s therapy for my mind and soul.

I’ve been talking about mental health a lot, my last blog tackled it and I’m addressing it in this one. If I can help one person by admitting my struggles, then awesome.

I also really want to help, my nature is to fix things. After chatting with my therapist, who is really cool, he and I are tossing around the idea of starting up a business owner support group. He would facilitate because we all tend to be a bit ADD.

So let me know your thoughts. Would you want to attend? What if I said there would be wine/booze/beer? Does that sway you at all?