If I hear the word “unprecedented” one more time, I’m going to scream. We are being bombarded by news by the time we wake up to the time we finally put our phones down and go to bed…then we dream about it. Everyone keeps giving advice on how to weather this storm, what to spend your time doing or how you should be acting during this time…well screw that.

Here is my non-advice, take it or leave it…because no one gets to decide how you deal with this shitstorm, but you.

Eat whatever you want

Stop showing me healthy recipes and workouts I can do from home. If I feel like moving, I’ll move. This may be considered terrible advice, but eat what you want, drink what you want and shower if you feel like it. We may all come out of this a few pounds heavier, so embrace it and eat your feelings. If you want that extra glass of wine (or bottle), no one is stopping you. The best part about this situation is the only one judging you is your dog and they’re just happy you’re around them 24/7.

Write about it

I sent my team journals to document this “unprecedented” time in our history. Write those feelings down, whether it is how you hid in a closet all day to escape your children or watched The Tiger King for the 14th time. In a year or two when you are dealing with what feels like an insurmountable situation, look back on this time and it will give you a much-needed perspective.

Adopt a friend

Seems like every time something crazy happens in the world, people dump their pets. By the way, if this is you, you’re an asshole. Help out a local animal shelter by fostering, it will keep you from going insane and you’ll save a life. That’s a win-win if you ask me.

Bring back letter writing

I’ve been mailing notes and cards out at a record pace. You wouldn’t believe the joy people experience when they get words of encouragement in the mail. My buddy Ashley and I have done this for years, neither one of us enjoys talking on the phone so we write to each other. Write notes to local nursing home residents, they are stuck in quarantine and can’t have visitors.  Think about that the next time you are feeling bored or lonely, their life depends on self-isolation…so suck it up buttercup and do something nice for someone else.

Zoom a virtual happy hour

I just did this with my team on Friday, I even put make-up on and showered. It was a big day for me. Check-in on those friends,  preferably with a glass of wine in your hand. It’s kind of funny to watch people get drunk virtually. I’m particularly hilarious.

We don’t know when this will end, for all the small businesses out there and those currently unemployed I pray it is soon. In the meantime, surround yourself with the people and things that make you happy and don’t let anyone tell you the right way to “cope” or “isolate.” You wear those pajamas for the 14th day in the row and have that dance party in your living room with no one judging you (your dog is totally judging you).

You do you and fuck COVID-19.

As if running a small business wasn’t hard enough, now we’re dealing with a pandemic. At this point, no one has any idea what that will mean for second-stage companies (between 10 to 99 employees), so we sit and wait. Waiting is not something we do well as business owners.

Here is what we know:

• The financial market is taking a hit
• Events are being canceled
• Large companies are asking employees to work from home
• Our health care system is overwhelmed

Here is what we don’t know:

• When will the spread slow?
• How long will this go on?
• Will the market stabilize?
• What will the effect be on our businesses?

There are a few options for moving forward.

Curl Up in the Fetal Position Option

While a popular choice, it will more than likely cause an adverse effect on your business. While it is nice to bury your head in the sand or hide under your covers with your 200 rolls of toilet paper, it won’t solve anything and you’re contributing to the panic.

Educate and Respond Option

Personally, I suggest this option. I met with my leadership team today and we talked about the coronavirus. It was not something we wanted to address but for the business and employees, it was a necessity. We broke it down by what we knew, 1). We are a small company and for now, are as safe as we can be working at our office; 2). If you sniffle, you stay home; 3). We must conduct business as usual and continue to serve our clients; 4). It is important for us to continue to educate ourselves and make informed decisions and finally 5.) Don’t panic, it is not going to help anyone. Stay calm, informed and for the love of all that is holy; wash your hands.

There is so much we don’t know and human nature seems to be “fill in the blanks,” which only makes it worse.

We are all going to be ok.

I’ve been running a business for around 13 years, if there is one thing I hate above all else it is the questions women are asked that no one would even think to ask a man.

First, let me define sexism for readers. Merriam-Webster defines it as:

• How do you balance work and life? Um…is that even a serious question? I run a business, no one has fucking work/life balance you twit.
• How old are your kids? This one is my favorite, I’m not even asked if I have kids, it is a given I would have them…because what woman doesn’t fulfill the role they are placed on this earth for? By the way, sarcasm is heavy in this blog. Read on if you dare.
• How is your little business doing? Oh really good, between keeping up on housework and making delicious meals for my husband, I have managed to run a business for 13 years that is fueled on the tears of interns.
• How does your husband deal with your schedule? I don’t know, I chain him to a bed and feed him periodically…seems to be fine when I see him.
• Do you only hire attractive females? Yep, all ugly trolls are stopped at the door and sent on their way.
• How does your husband feel about all the men you spend time with? What a great question! Well, I make sure any male that is within 10 feet of me is made aware that I am happily married, then I flash my ring in his face and only talk about what a wonderful man my husband is…I make sure to really drive that point home. I also review my schedule with my husband every Sunday so he knows who I’m meeting with and when, he then gives me permission to run my business.
• There is still time to have kids. I know, I know, this isn’t a question…it’s a statement…which should say it all.
• Who will take care of you in your old age? If that is your retirement plan, you are a moron. What kid wants to be strapped with their aging parents? I plan to have 100 dogs and they will probably eat me when I pass away. Too much? Ah well, thanks for asking.

I had to stop at eight or this blog was going to be a novel, maybe there will be part 2, depends on demand.

Before you get all defensive, I know these questions are not ill-intended but that in no way makes them excusable. 

Stop. Think. Then open mouth.

I’m really sick of answering these questions, I’m also sick of women being viewed as a weaker sex that somehow can’t share in the same accomplishments as a man. As women, we get defensive and begin listing all the things we do, manage and keep together to ensure everyone around us is taken care of…and we need to stop.

Listen up ladies, stop being so damn nice about sexism. Be sarcastic, forceful, abrasive, aggressive, forward (all the adjectives that are used against us) in your responses.

For example “Why don’t you have kids?”

My Answer: “My uterus was ripped out by scavenging bears, I’m lucky to be alive…thanks for bringing up that painful memory.”

See, easy peasy. Don’t let sexism win or be excused.

A growing business is a blessing and a challenge. Hiring is one of the hardest endeavors, regardless of business size. When you have an entry-level position you are hiring for, you are most likely dealing with new grads or those with a year experience.

I have found these roles the most challenging to fill. The rule with the Entrepreneurial Operating System® (EOS®) is to hire slow, fire fast. We definitely have the first one down. Culture is such a fickle thing, that is incredibly important to find someone that will integrate well into your team, as well as do an exceptional job. Maybe I am biased but I want anyone I hire to stay with 8THIRTYFOUR for a long period of time, if not forever. I realize this is not realistic, but a business owner can dream.

Some of the scenarios I have encountered along our hiring journeys are listed below along with recommendations.

Applying

When drafting your cover letter, be sure to address it to someone within the organization. If you are not sure who (try Google and their website), call the company and ask for a name.  Never, ever address a cover letter “Dear hiring manager.” We are a small team, I am the hiring manager.

Other “mishaps” that will automatically drop you out of the running:

• Grammatical errors in your cover letter or resume. Seriously? Have someone proofread it or just run spellcheck.
• Addressing the cover letter to the wrong person. I have no words for this one.
• Having the name of the company you applied to previously…in the cover letter. Yeah, that’ll be a no for us.
• Misspelling the name of my company. This shows me you really did your research.
• Applying for the wrong position. Did you even read the job posting?
• Taking several days to respond to an interview request. Clearly, you are ready for the hustle and bustle of agency life. Don’t use the spam excuse, you can check that daily.
• Responding with salary requirements well outside the position range (when it is listed in the job posting). Thanks for wasting my time, also Google “cost of living in Grand Rapids vs. Chicago.”

The Interview

It can be nerve-wracking walking into a company and being cross-examined. Some of the scenarios we have encountered leave me completely baffled. Avoid these missteps.

• Showing up excessively early, be there 5 to 7 minutes early. Do not show up 15 to 20 minutes early.
• A limp handshake. Gross. A handshake should be firm, brief and strong.
• Dressing too casually. Even if you are applying for a company that has a laidback dress code, show up looking polished in a blazer or other appropriate office wear.
• Acting entitled. I have had interviewees request, in the interview, to work a 4 day week. Seriously?
• Negotiating raises and a higher salary in the interview, after already giving us your salary requirements. This should go without saying, do not bring up money in an interview. There is plenty of time to discuss compensation, raise structure, holidays, vacation time….after the offer.
• Preparing properly with research into the company should be a given. When asked why you are interested in working for us, have an answer prepared. Read recent blogs, review LinkedIn profiles, do a simple Google search and be prepared to ask questions on the company.

After The Interview

• Follow-up is encouraged, to a certain extent. Calling the office every day, then cell phones, sending emails, thank you notes, etc. is a little over the top. We will let you know when a decision has been made.
• Questioning the hiring process. Every candidate is different, meaning there are different interactions required prior to making a decision. Asking if “this is typical of your hiring process,” sends the entitlement vibe. Be thankful a company is investing in ensuring you are the right fit, so both parties don’t end up hoodwinked.
• Reaching out to all current employees. To a certain extent, this is encouraged, however when asking intrusive and somewhat combative questions…just don’t.
• If you are offered the job, congrats, don’t ask for a week to think it over. Don’t apply for the position, if your end goal is to not actually take the job.

I could go into more “what not to do” scenarios, but then this would turn into a novel. In my next blog, I’ll share stories of interviews that blew me away.

Have horror stories of your own? Share them in the comments below, please don’t let me be alone.

I had an interesting convo with my therapist the other day (more people should admit they see one, helps erase the stigma), we were chatting about the stress a business owner deals with every day and how it bleeds into every other aspect of your life. By the way, this was supposed to be marriage counseling, but it ended up just being me – that is a story there for another day.

In my therapist’s other life, he is a business coach. Which, if you think about it, makes perfect sense. I think what we often need, as business owners, someone to talk to with no judgment. We keep a lot of shit locked inside, we don’t want to bother our significant others, family or friends and not just that, they will never fully understand the struggle.

I wrote a blog a while back that talked about the loneliness a business owner faces. The blog is just as true today as 3 years ago when I wrote it.

What has been my saving grace in recent years is the network surrounding the Small Business Association of Michigan (SBAM). The group consists only of business owners, which means you are in a room with others that experience the same pain points, frustrations, and hurdles. It’s therapy for my mind and soul.

I’ve been talking about mental health a lot, my last blog tackled it and I’m addressing it in this one. If I can help one person by admitting my struggles, then awesome.

I also really want to help, my nature is to fix things. After chatting with my therapist, who is really cool, he and I are tossing around the idea of starting up a business owner support group. He would facilitate because we all tend to be a bit ADD.

So let me know your thoughts. Would you want to attend? What if I said there would be wine/booze/beer? Does that sway you at all?

Am I the only one, who had never heard this saying, until recently?

According to the internet, that is always right in all these types of things, the Sunday Scaries are:

…the anxiety that sets in on Sunday nights with the impending return to the office, school, or work. Whether you call them The Sunday Scaries, The Sunday Blues, The Fear, The Shakes, The Dread – they’re there.

Now that we have defined this feeling that comes over us on a Sunday, let’s do something about it.

1. Acknowledge the feeling. The first step in conquering the “Scaries” is to acknowledge they exist. I remember as a little girl, not wanting to go to bed on Sunday night because it meant a new week, full of school, homework, classmates and the unknown. As humans, we are naturally anxious, maybe it dates back to when we were fighting dinosaurs for food…we are always thinking “what if,” and find it impossible to live in the now. Grab a notebook and write down why you are dreading the next day, knowing what you are tackling makes all the difference – now it isn’t the unknown.
2. Make a plan. Good job, you’ve written it down. Look it over, is it really that scary? Next, number another sheet of paper. Prioritize what you need to accomplish tomorrow, put the crap you don’t want to do at the top. Procrastination is in our DNA, but that doesn’t mean you can’t conquer it. Lists fix everything.
3. Tackle it now. Do the first thing at the top of the list, if you followed directions, it is the one thing you are dreading the most. If you take care of it before Monday even hits, you’ve already won the week.
4. Reward yourself. Congrats, you managed to trick yourself into getting something done on a Sunday. Pour yourself a cold beverage, or pop those pizza rolls in the oven (make sure you have ranch – you’re not a heathen) and try to relax.

Mondays don’t have to be scary, if you prep a little on Sunday and know what to expect the next day, you’ll kick the Sunday Scaries in the ass.

I was reminded the other day of the power of teamwork and what can be accomplished when we work together. Around 3:00 a.m. this past weekend, Joey (one of 7 Bode dogs), was sprayed by a skunk. Josh (the husband) set out to gather the needed supplies (and no it isn’t tomato juice). I set out vinegar to absorb the smell in the house, turned on all the fans, threw baking soda on everything, Febreze’d, lit every candle in the house and corralled the rest of the dogs.

We donned gloves and proceeded to scrub Joey down with the concoction 4 times, and then bathed Joey in baking soda. As you can imagine, it was a tedious and smelly process, but we tackled it together.

It was a great reminder of how much more we can achieve by putting aside our pride and stubbornness and admitting we need help. Too often we have to be forced into working with someone, which was the case this past weekend. Ask yourself, how much more could you accomplish if you worked in tangent with another individual? Our best ideas are often built on other people’s ideas, and we can tackle so much more if we lean on each other.

Another word of advice, don’t let your dog out at 3:00 a.m., just don’t.

My lovely friend, Adrienne Wallace, spoke about paid interns at her acceptance speech for PR Pro of the Year or Badass Superwoman of the Year (I forget the category) and she is right on the money (or the lack of). In fact, I agree so much…I’m writing about it.

Now, before you get your knickers in a twister, yes…8THIRTYFOUR was powered by unpaid interns for the first few years of the agency. And boy did I feel guilty about it, those were some hardworking soon-to-be pros. What I couldn’t pay them, I did try to make up for with booze, food and lots of dogs – but it was never enough and it will never be enough. If you’re reading this…thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

While I’m at it, I would also like to stricken ‘intern’ from our vocabulary. It is just so insulting, I don’t hire interns, I hire associates that work with clients, slay projects and deliver results. They deserve to be paid for the work they do because it matters.

If you disagree with me, whatever. Here are the reasons unpaid internships shouldn’t even be an option anymore – and schools need to set that expectation as well.

1. When is the last time you asked someone to cut your hair or clean your house for free?
2. How hard have you ever worked at something that you didn’t get paid for?
3. If a potential client calls you up, says they love the work you do but would like you to do a project for free – just so they can get a feel for how you work…what would you say?
4. Employees feel valued when they are paid…weird right?
5. If you don’t pay, you’re a jerk.

In conclusion, pay your interns.

Ever find yourself scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn…all the photos in your phone…the latest Ann Taylor sale…basically doing anything but tackling the looming project that is due?

I’m convinced it is human nature to procrastinate, it just feels natural to find reasons to not do something. It’s like we are wired to avoid emptying the dishwasher, riding the Peloton, or writing that blog.

Putting things off, actually hurts us emotionally, physically and monetarily. In a survey of 10,000 people by Carleton University’s Procrastination Research Group, 94 percent of respondents said that procrastination negatively affects their happiness. A full 19 percent said the effect is extremely negative.

Side Note: There is a group that studies procrastination, how often do they put something off…I wonder?

There is no secret formula for motivation, for me…guilt and the fear of letting someone down drives me. It doesn’t mean I’m jumping out of bed at 6:00 a.m. to ride 10 miles on the bike, meditate for 30 minutes or read a book…it does mean, I get shit done.

You have to force yourself to do it, even when you don’t want to. 

I tell staff, do the item on your to-do list that you are avoiding doing. Get it over with, you’ll find yourself a hell of a lot more productive when that one task isn’t hanging over your head.

Make yourself be motivated, there is no magic wand to suddenly make yourself productive. It is just pushing yourself and doing the crap you don’t want to do…first.

Set a routine

My mornings consist of me getting up, getting ready and getting out the door. Some people like to run a marathon, write a novel, achieve world peace…all before 6:00 a.m. Well, good for them.

No routine is right or wrong, do what works for you. I work in the evening, after I leave the office, I tackle things that are ‘quick wins’ so I can focus on the big stuff the next day.

Celebrate success

Acknowledge your wins. When you knock out a 35-page strategy, reward yourself with a bottle or two of wine.

It’s never to late to end the cycle of procrastination. Be realistic with yourself, you’ll have good and bad days.

One of the most important skills a person can possess is the ability to listen. In a world where phones are beeping, watches are buzzing and emails are popping up…we are constantly pulled away.

I, myself, am a terrible listener, ask anyone. I am easily distracted, ooh shiny object, and I have a hard time concentrating on one task at a time. I want to jump all over the place and I am certain I have some undiagnosed something – adderall anyone?

These tips are for all the recovering non-listeners. There is nothing more rude than a person having to repeat themselves multiple times, because you are not listening. Just ask my husband.

1. Prioritize it in the workplace. Encourage listening by setting an example. Put away your phone or other distraction, make eye contact, be conscious of nonverbals and actively engage.
2. Pay attention to nonverbals. I took a class in college titled ‘Nonverbal Communication,’ thinking it would be a fluff course – I was wrong. A substantial portion of our communication is nonverbal. Every day, we respond to thousands on nonverbal cues and behaviors including postures, facial expression, eye gaze, gestures, and tone of voice.
3. Don’t interrupt. This is a tough one, I am very impatient and if I feel someone is taking too long to get to the point, I jump in and make it for them. Trust me, that is a dick move.

Encourage a ‘no interruption’ policy at work. Have employees take note of something they heard during the day, that the can then share with the rest of the team.

When your culture is focused on listening and observing, staff is happier and clients will take note.