I’ve been running a business for around 13 years, if there is one thing I hate above all else it is the questions women are asked that no one would even think to ask a man.

First, let me define sexism for readers. Merriam-Webster defines it as:

• How do you balance work and life? Um…is that even a serious question? I run a business, no one has fucking work/life balance you twit.
• How old are your kids? This one is my favorite, I’m not even asked if I have kids, it is a given I would have them…because what woman doesn’t fulfill the role they are placed on this earth for? By the way, sarcasm is heavy in this blog. Read on if you dare.
• How is your little business doing? Oh really good, between keeping up on housework and making delicious meals for my husband, I have managed to run a business for 13 years that is fueled on the tears of interns.
• How does your husband deal with your schedule? I don’t know, I chain him to a bed and feed him periodically…seems to be fine when I see him.
• Do you only hire attractive females? Yep, all ugly trolls are stopped at the door and sent on their way.
• How does your husband feel about all the men you spend time with? What a great question! Well, I make sure any male that is within 10 feet of me is made aware that I am happily married, then I flash my ring in his face and only talk about what a wonderful man my husband is…I make sure to really drive that point home. I also review my schedule with my husband every Sunday so he knows who I’m meeting with and when, he then gives me permission to run my business.
• There is still time to have kids. I know, I know, this isn’t a question…it’s a statement…which should say it all.
• Who will take care of you in your old age? If that is your retirement plan, you are a moron. What kid wants to be strapped with their aging parents? I plan to have 100 dogs and they will probably eat me when I pass away. Too much? Ah well, thanks for asking.

I had to stop at eight or this blog was going to be a novel, maybe there will be part 2, depends on demand.

Before you get all defensive, I know these questions are not ill-intended but that in no way makes them excusable. 

Stop. Think. Then open mouth.

I’m really sick of answering these questions, I’m also sick of women being viewed as a weaker sex that somehow can’t share in the same accomplishments as a man. As women, we get defensive and begin listing all the things we do, manage and keep together to ensure everyone around us is taken care of…and we need to stop.

Listen up ladies, stop being so damn nice about sexism. Be sarcastic, forceful, abrasive, aggressive, forward (all the adjectives that are used against us) in your responses.

For example “Why don’t you have kids?”

My Answer: “My uterus was ripped out by scavenging bears, I’m lucky to be alive…thanks for bringing up that painful memory.”

See, easy peasy. Don’t let sexism win or be excused.

A growing business is a blessing and a challenge. Hiring is one of the hardest endeavors, regardless of business size. When you have an entry-level position you are hiring for, you are most likely dealing with new grads or those with a year experience.

I have found these roles the most challenging to fill. The rule with the Entrepreneurial Operating System® (EOS®) is to hire slow, fire fast. We definitely have the first one down. Culture is such a fickle thing, that is incredibly important to find someone that will integrate well into your team, as well as do an exceptional job. Maybe I am biased but I want anyone I hire to stay with 8THIRTYFOUR for a long period of time, if not forever. I realize this is not realistic, but a business owner can dream.

Some of the scenarios I have encountered along our hiring journeys are listed below along with recommendations.

Applying

When drafting your cover letter, be sure to address it to someone within the organization. If you are not sure who (try Google and their website), call the company and ask for a name.  Never, ever address a cover letter “Dear hiring manager.” We are a small team, I am the hiring manager.

Other “mishaps” that will automatically drop you out of the running:

• Grammatical errors in your cover letter or resume. Seriously? Have someone proofread it or just run spellcheck.
• Addressing the cover letter to the wrong person. I have no words for this one.
• Having the name of the company you applied to previously…in the cover letter. Yeah, that’ll be a no for us.
• Misspelling the name of my company. This shows me you really did your research.
• Applying for the wrong position. Did you even read the job posting?
• Taking several days to respond to an interview request. Clearly, you are ready for the hustle and bustle of agency life. Don’t use the spam excuse, you can check that daily.
• Responding with salary requirements well outside the position range (when it is listed in the job posting). Thanks for wasting my time, also Google “cost of living in Grand Rapids vs. Chicago.”

The Interview

It can be nerve-wracking walking into a company and being cross-examined. Some of the scenarios we have encountered leave me completely baffled. Avoid these missteps.

• Showing up excessively early, be there 5 to 7 minutes early. Do not show up 15 to 20 minutes early.
• A limp handshake. Gross. A handshake should be firm, brief and strong.
• Dressing too casually. Even if you are applying for a company that has a laidback dress code, show up looking polished in a blazer or other appropriate office wear.
• Acting entitled. I have had interviewees request, in the interview, to work a 4 day week. Seriously?
• Negotiating raises and a higher salary in the interview, after already giving us your salary requirements. This should go without saying, do not bring up money in an interview. There is plenty of time to discuss compensation, raise structure, holidays, vacation time….after the offer.
• Preparing properly with research into the company should be a given. When asked why you are interested in working for us, have an answer prepared. Read recent blogs, review LinkedIn profiles, do a simple Google search and be prepared to ask questions on the company.

After The Interview

• Follow-up is encouraged, to a certain extent. Calling the office every day, then cell phones, sending emails, thank you notes, etc. is a little over the top. We will let you know when a decision has been made.
• Questioning the hiring process. Every candidate is different, meaning there are different interactions required prior to making a decision. Asking if “this is typical of your hiring process,” sends the entitlement vibe. Be thankful a company is investing in ensuring you are the right fit, so both parties don’t end up hoodwinked.
• Reaching out to all current employees. To a certain extent, this is encouraged, however when asking intrusive and somewhat combative questions…just don’t.
• If you are offered the job, congrats, don’t ask for a week to think it over. Don’t apply for the position, if your end goal is to not actually take the job.

I could go into more “what not to do” scenarios, but then this would turn into a novel. In my next blog, I’ll share stories of interviews that blew me away.

Have horror stories of your own? Share them in the comments below, please don’t let me be alone.

I had an interesting convo with my therapist the other day (more people should admit they see one, helps erase the stigma), we were chatting about the stress a business owner deals with every day and how it bleeds into every other aspect of your life. By the way, this was supposed to be marriage counseling, but it ended up just being me – that is a story there for another day.

In my therapist’s other life, he is a business coach. Which, if you think about it, makes perfect sense. I think what we often need, as business owners, someone to talk to with no judgment. We keep a lot of shit locked inside, we don’t want to bother our significant others, family or friends and not just that, they will never fully understand the struggle.

I wrote a blog a while back that talked about the loneliness a business owner faces. The blog is just as true today as 3 years ago when I wrote it.

What has been my saving grace in recent years is the network surrounding the Small Business Association of Michigan (SBAM). The group consists only of business owners, which means you are in a room with others that experience the same pain points, frustrations, and hurdles. It’s therapy for my mind and soul.

I’ve been talking about mental health a lot, my last blog tackled it and I’m addressing it in this one. If I can help one person by admitting my struggles, then awesome.

I also really want to help, my nature is to fix things. After chatting with my therapist, who is really cool, he and I are tossing around the idea of starting up a business owner support group. He would facilitate because we all tend to be a bit ADD.

So let me know your thoughts. Would you want to attend? What if I said there would be wine/booze/beer? Does that sway you at all?

Am I the only one, who had never heard this saying, until recently?

According to the internet, that is always right in all these types of things, the Sunday Scaries are:

…the anxiety that sets in on Sunday nights with the impending return to the office, school, or work. Whether you call them The Sunday Scaries, The Sunday Blues, The Fear, The Shakes, The Dread – they’re there.

Now that we have defined this feeling that comes over us on a Sunday, let’s do something about it.

1. Acknowledge the feeling. The first step in conquering the “Scaries” is to acknowledge they exist. I remember as a little girl, not wanting to go to bed on Sunday night because it meant a new week, full of school, homework, classmates and the unknown. As humans, we are naturally anxious, maybe it dates back to when we were fighting dinosaurs for food…we are always thinking “what if,” and find it impossible to live in the now. Grab a notebook and write down why you are dreading the next day, knowing what you are tackling makes all the difference – now it isn’t the unknown.
2. Make a plan. Good job, you’ve written it down. Look it over, is it really that scary? Next, number another sheet of paper. Prioritize what you need to accomplish tomorrow, put the crap you don’t want to do at the top. Procrastination is in our DNA, but that doesn’t mean you can’t conquer it. Lists fix everything.
3. Tackle it now. Do the first thing at the top of the list, if you followed directions, it is the one thing you are dreading the most. If you take care of it before Monday even hits, you’ve already won the week.
4. Reward yourself. Congrats, you managed to trick yourself into getting something done on a Sunday. Pour yourself a cold beverage, or pop those pizza rolls in the oven (make sure you have ranch – you’re not a heathen) and try to relax.

Mondays don’t have to be scary, if you prep a little on Sunday and know what to expect the next day, you’ll kick the Sunday Scaries in the ass.

I was reminded the other day of the power of teamwork and what can be accomplished when we work together. Around 3:00 a.m. this past weekend, Joey (one of 7 Bode dogs), was sprayed by a skunk. Josh (the husband) set out to gather the needed supplies (and no it isn’t tomato juice). I set out vinegar to absorb the smell in the house, turned on all the fans, threw baking soda on everything, Febreze’d, lit every candle in the house and corralled the rest of the dogs.

We donned gloves and proceeded to scrub Joey down with the concoction 4 times, and then bathed Joey in baking soda. As you can imagine, it was a tedious and smelly process, but we tackled it together.

It was a great reminder of how much more we can achieve by putting aside our pride and stubbornness and admitting we need help. Too often we have to be forced into working with someone, which was the case this past weekend. Ask yourself, how much more could you accomplish if you worked in tangent with another individual? Our best ideas are often built on other people’s ideas, and we can tackle so much more if we lean on each other.

Another word of advice, don’t let your dog out at 3:00 a.m., just don’t.

My lovely friend, Adrienne Wallace, spoke about paid interns at her acceptance speech for PR Pro of the Year or Badass Superwoman of the Year (I forget the category) and she is right on the money (or the lack of). In fact, I agree so much…I’m writing about it.

Now, before you get your knickers in a twister, yes…8THIRTYFOUR was powered by unpaid interns for the first few years of the agency. And boy did I feel guilty about it, those were some hardworking soon-to-be pros. What I couldn’t pay them, I did try to make up for with booze, food and lots of dogs – but it was never enough and it will never be enough. If you’re reading this…thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

While I’m at it, I would also like to stricken ‘intern’ from our vocabulary. It is just so insulting, I don’t hire interns, I hire associates that work with clients, slay projects and deliver results. They deserve to be paid for the work they do because it matters.

If you disagree with me, whatever. Here are the reasons unpaid internships shouldn’t even be an option anymore – and schools need to set that expectation as well.

1. When is the last time you asked someone to cut your hair or clean your house for free?
2. How hard have you ever worked at something that you didn’t get paid for?
3. If a potential client calls you up, says they love the work you do but would like you to do a project for free – just so they can get a feel for how you work…what would you say?
4. Employees feel valued when they are paid…weird right?
5. If you don’t pay, you’re a jerk.

In conclusion, pay your interns.

Ever find yourself scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn…all the photos in your phone…the latest Ann Taylor sale…basically doing anything but tackling the looming project that is due?

I’m convinced it is human nature to procrastinate, it just feels natural to find reasons to not do something. It’s like we are wired to avoid emptying the dishwasher, riding the Peloton, or writing that blog.

Putting things off, actually hurts us emotionally, physically and monetarily. In a survey of 10,000 people by Carleton University’s Procrastination Research Group, 94 percent of respondents said that procrastination negatively affects their happiness. A full 19 percent said the effect is extremely negative.

Side Note: There is a group that studies procrastination, how often do they put something off…I wonder?

There is no secret formula for motivation, for me…guilt and the fear of letting someone down drives me. It doesn’t mean I’m jumping out of bed at 6:00 a.m. to ride 10 miles on the bike, meditate for 30 minutes or read a book…it does mean, I get shit done.

You have to force yourself to do it, even when you don’t want to. 

I tell staff, do the item on your to-do list that you are avoiding doing. Get it over with, you’ll find yourself a hell of a lot more productive when that one task isn’t hanging over your head.

Make yourself be motivated, there is no magic wand to suddenly make yourself productive. It is just pushing yourself and doing the crap you don’t want to do…first.

Set a routine

My mornings consist of me getting up, getting ready and getting out the door. Some people like to run a marathon, write a novel, achieve world peace…all before 6:00 a.m. Well, good for them.

No routine is right or wrong, do what works for you. I work in the evening, after I leave the office, I tackle things that are ‘quick wins’ so I can focus on the big stuff the next day.

Celebrate success

Acknowledge your wins. When you knock out a 35-page strategy, reward yourself with a bottle or two of wine.

It’s never to late to end the cycle of procrastination. Be realistic with yourself, you’ll have good and bad days.

One of the most important skills a person can possess is the ability to listen. In a world where phones are beeping, watches are buzzing and emails are popping up…we are constantly pulled away.

I, myself, am a terrible listener, ask anyone. I am easily distracted, ooh shiny object, and I have a hard time concentrating on one task at a time. I want to jump all over the place and I am certain I have some undiagnosed something – adderall anyone?

These tips are for all the recovering non-listeners. There is nothing more rude than a person having to repeat themselves multiple times, because you are not listening. Just ask my husband.

1. Prioritize it in the workplace. Encourage listening by setting an example. Put away your phone or other distraction, make eye contact, be conscious of nonverbals and actively engage.
2. Pay attention to nonverbals. I took a class in college titled ‘Nonverbal Communication,’ thinking it would be a fluff course – I was wrong. A substantial portion of our communication is nonverbal. Every day, we respond to thousands on nonverbal cues and behaviors including postures, facial expression, eye gaze, gestures, and tone of voice.
3. Don’t interrupt. This is a tough one, I am very impatient and if I feel someone is taking too long to get to the point, I jump in and make it for them. Trust me, that is a dick move.

Encourage a ‘no interruption’ policy at work. Have employees take note of something they heard during the day, that the can then share with the rest of the team.

When your culture is focused on listening and observing, staff is happier and clients will take note.

Be comfortable with change is the best piece of advice I can offer you. Life is going to throw a lot of curve balls your way, so line up to catch them and throw them the f**k back.

8THIRTYFOUR is 12 years old (maybe 13 – I lose track) and there is not a single day that I wasn’t surprised or caught off-guard by something; there is a reason people don’t own businesses – it is fucking hard. If you can become comfortable with things constantly being in influx, and create a plan for how to deal with disruptions – you almost begin to look forward to them (that is 100% an exaggeration), the good thing is you know how to tackle the unexpected, deal with it and move on.

The other fun part about change is communicating throughout the entire organization, in a way that is positive and exciting. Anytime there is change, there is opportunity. Stop looking at change as a disruption, instead see the possibilities that accompany it.

Next time the unexpected happens, do the following.

1. Breathe. Don’t react. Any action you take within the first 15 minutes of a disruption, is going to be reactionary and definitely not well-thought out.
2. Ponder. If I know a big decision is coming, I reflect on it. I take a few days, sometimes a week (if time allows) and let my mind look at all the possibilities.
3. Analyze. Now that you have slowed down and pondered, it is time to determine the ripple effects on your company, staff, community, personal life etc.
4. Plan. You have thought it out and you know what you have to do, write it out, timeline it and communicate it.
5. Go. Get moving, you have the plan and the ability to turn this disruption into an opportunity.

Remember, when shit hits the fan – find the opportunity and put on your positive pants.

My favorite subject is small business and through the 8THIRTYFOUR Happy Hour Hustle podcast, WGVU Your Biz Your Town radio show with Shelley Irwin or this blog, I am constantly promoting the amazing businesses in our community.

Small Business Saturday is tomorrow and while this is mostly for retailers, it is a good opportunity to shine the spotlight on all small businesses.

Starting and growing a business is daunting, to say the least, but you are not alone. There are some amazing organizations in our state that are here to help. This blog is dedicated to just a few of them, who have assisted 8THIRTYFOUR over the years.

Small Business Development Center (SBDC)
When I was starting 8THIRTYFOUR, I needed a crash course in business finance and SBDC offers financial counseling and much, much more. They offer expert assistance at NO cost to entrepreneurs looking to start or grow their business. You heard that right, their services are FREE.

The SBDC is headquartered within Grand Valley State University with 11 regional offices and more than 20 satellite offices.

I just recently reengaged their services to assist us in our Entrepreneurial Operating System journey, they offer facilitated sessions to ensure you are properly implementing.

Find out more by visiting, sbdcmichigan.org.

Small Business Association of Michigan (SBAM)
If you know me, then you know I am very involved with SBAM, with over 26,000 members it is the only statewide and state-based association that focuses solely on serving the needs of Michigan’s small business community.They have been successfully serving small businesses in all 83 counties of Michigan since 1969.

As a business owner, the ability to meet, network and commiserate with other owners is priceless. They keep us informed of policies at the state and national level that will affect our businesses and provide opportunities for us collaborate and partner.

Find out more at sbam.org.

There are many more great orgs, such as Grand Rapids Opportunities for Women, local chambers and Inforum Michigan. Determine what your need is then reach out to one of these great resources to take your business to the next level.

Are there others that should be on the list? Add them in the comments below.