It seems all you hear  talk about these days is the need for skilled, STEM and high-tech candidates. A recent article by the Washington Post titled, Forget coding. It’s the soft skills, stupid. And that’s what schools should be teaching, states that while software development skills are desired by employers the skill that is much more in demand is the ability to communicate.

This is a discussion we have frequently around the office, while we need individuals that understand PR, digital, marketing and design; what we need the most is those that are able to problem solve, be empathetic, lead, show gratitude, work in teams and more.

Soft skills, as defined by the dictionary, are: personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.

Let’s just step back a minute and reflect on how we got to the point where job candidates are unable to think independently, interact with other humans and are incapable of saying ‘thank you’ and ‘please.’

Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychology professor, has found that praising children for their intelligence, rather than for their effort, often leads them to give up when they encounter the unknown. It’s much better, in her opinion, to compliment children for their persistence. People perform better when they can focus on things they can control rather than things they cannot.

When I entered the workforce, I took a blue collar upbringing and mentality and applied it to a white collar job. I was told to work smarter, not harder – which went against everything I was taught growing up. I watched my dad work 30+ years as a pipe fitter at GM, where he took on a leadership position in the union. He worked harder and smarter – it wasn’t an either/or scenario.

Todays college graduates struggle with problem solving, if the answer or solution isn’t readily available to them they give up. If they can’t find the answer digitally, it must not exist.

We are handicapping the current and future generations by overfilling their days with structured play or organized activities – gone are the days where you were told to use your imagination. Our parents didn’t care if we were bored, we were told to figure it out, occupy our own time and if there was an issue or argument with other kids – solve it.

Showing up for your job will not earn you a trophy, it earns you a paycheck. My advice to college graduates is work harder and smarter than the rest and ALWAYS say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’

And to the parents raising little, let them be bored, tell them to use their imaginations and limit their interaction with devices and technology. The world doesn’t hand out trophies for paying your bills and showing up for the job you were hired for.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes along this small business journey and leadership is at the top. No need to rehash for the purpose of this blog, don’t worry they still haunt me, instead I want to share the steps I am taking to be the best boss I can be.

A little over six months ago, we began implementing the Entrepreneur Operating System® or EOS®. If you haven’t heard people talk about this program before, you will now. I encourage you to read the book Traction and learn for yourself what this program can do for your business.

One of the key components in EOS® is ensuring you have the right people in the right positions. I have known for awhile that my talents are best utilized out in the community and working with our clients, I am a visionary. I can outline systems all day long, but when it comes to the implementation, I leave a lot to be desired.

I knew I needed a change and my role had to evolve.

1. Outline your current responsibilities. What do you love? What do you dislike? What do you absolutely hate?
2. Next look at the list, where do your talents lie? Circle the responsibilities that you can delegate. For me, this was to our managing director. If you don’t have someone to delegate to at this time, this is a good list for the future when you can afford to hire someone to assist you.
3. Create an org chart and define each staff members role. By outlining what they do on a day-to-day basis you can identify holes and capacity. Be sure that you are not identifying responsibilities by person but by position. The person should fit the role, not the other way around.
4. Set aside time to think big picture. I was so caught up in the day-to-day that I lost sight of the overall vision of the business. Build time into your schedule and your role to strategize, your business depends on it.
5. Lead. Whether you are directly managing your staff or not, you still need to lead. You need to give clear direction, provide the necessary job tools, let go (delegate & trust), acknowledge the bigger picture and give yourself time to define that bigger picture.

There are a lot more steps that full under each of these items, however this gives you a good overall picture of what you need to work towards.

What have you struggled with as a leader?

Perhaps one of the most harmful things we can do as business owners is dwell on the past. It is hard to look forward and not backwards when we are making strategic decisions about our companies, however it is absolutely necessary. You know the saying, hindsight is 20/20, well that is true and the only value is in what you learn to help you make better decisions in the present.

Moving on from a mistake or failure is a challenge all humans make and as a business owner we are not quick to forgive ourselves. Here are a few tips I have found helpful over the years:

1. Make the decision to move on. Consciously admit it happened and acknowledge there is nothing more you can do. Write down 2 to 3 things you learned from it and put those lessons into practice for the future of the company.
2. Process the mistake or failure. Before you can fully move on, you need to process the whole situation. I do this by grabbing a drink with another small business owner who can help me see the lesson in all of it and who also loves a great cocktail and real talk. Similar to personal hardships, you have to allow yourself time to mourn or you will never truly move on from it.
3. Take responsibility. Don’t blame others for what happened. At the end of the day, you are the business owner and the buck stops with you.
4. Stop looking back. Once you are through steps 1 through 3, it is time to put the lessons you learned into practice. No more dwelling on the past. If you continue to focus on the negative there is no room for the positive and it is already hard enough to be positive.
5. Forgive everyone. This sounds very ’emotional’ but the fact is, if you hold a grudge against another person or yourself then this situation/failure/mistake will haunt you for the rest of your life. Forgiveness is a way of tangibly letting something go. It’s also a way of empathizing with the other person, and trying to see things from their point of view. Empathy will set you apart.

Don’t let your business or yourself be defined by something that happened in the past. You are better than that.

As entrepreneurs and business owners, our days are anything but consistent. It is a word we loathe, how can we possibly be consistent when everyday is full of surprises and the unexpected.

Here is the deal, when we are consistent, we see the results but it takes commitment. It is so easy to put things off, procrastinate and be complacent…but we can’t do that. As business owners we should have a schedule that addresses the different facets of our business.

• Money is key to running a business, which means you need to set time every month to review finances, reconcile charges, categorize expenses…etc. It is a wonder our bookkeeper has not killed me…numbers are my least favorite thing so reviewing them and understanding them takes a lot longer for me. However, it is a necessity.
• Team meetings to keep all work and internal projects on track need to happen weekly. We sit down as a team 3 times a week and each meeting has a different theme – what is coming up, what big projects are in process, current events and brainstorming. If we don’t connect on a regular basis, our connection as a team suffers and in turn our clients don’t receive our best work.
• Leadership meetings happen weekly on Mondays. We do a temperature check on culture, employees, agency health, upcoming projects, business development and more.
• Quarterly strategy meetings are also an important part of “consistency”; we do an offsite full day session each quarter to do a deeper dive into all things 8THIRTYFOUR -we have our goals mapped out quarterly, yearly, etc. This keeps us on track for the bigger goals we have set.
• Mondays are no meeting days, sometimes (rarely) that gets broken but it is our time to plan for the week, connect on all client activities and work ahead.
• Bi-weekly on Fridays we meet as a team and tackle 8THIRTYFOUR marketing activities, community engagement and spend time bonding as a team. We know we have to be intentional about culture, if we aren’t then everything suffers.

My advice is, stop fighting consistency and build it into your week, month and year. The rewards will become evident when you stay the course.

What are your priorities when it comes to consistency?

With it being Friday, I want to remind you to put yourself and your happiness first. We get lost in our responsibilities, to-do lists, worries and commitments; losing focus often leads to feeling overwhelmed. I don’t know about you, but when I get overwhelmed, I tend to freeze. I get stuck and scattered and I end up getting NOTHING done.

Today or this weekend, do one thing that brings you joy. Maybe it is reading a book, catching up on Black Mirror (maybe not this show – it is messed up), taking a walk, napping…you get the drift; do all of it without guilt. Happiness is not our natural state as human beings, it takes work and prioritizing. Seems weird to schedule time for happiness, but if you don’t do it then when will you make it your focus?

Happiness is achieved through work. Here are some ways you can pursue joy this weekend:

1. Practice gratitude. Send thank you notes, little gifts in the mail, text a nice message to a friend. When we do something for others, it boosts our mood and we feel good.
2. Give of your time to a friend, stranger or organization. My favorite thing in life is giving gifts to others or doing something for someone that will make them happy. Their happiness is my happiness.
3. Enjoy the pleasurable (get your mind out of the gutter). Take in the sunset or sunrise, go for a hike, learn a new hobby – maybe rollerblading or knitting. Knitting seems like the safer alternative here.

Happiness and joy are up to you. Los Angeles-based therapist, Sarah Schewitz says, “You can change the way you think, you can change the way you feel, and be happier.”

Don’t have a heart attack, but I currently have 1,215 emails in my inbox. Are you hyperventilating? Take a deep breath, here’s a paper bag – I hear you can breath into it and it helps.

If it makes you feel any better, I don’t categorize or file my emails. If I am at 1,214, I know that I have 0 unread emails. I have a system, it is just a system that gives other people anxiety. I sent an article around the office the other day by Tim Herrera of Smarter Living; the article addressed procrastination. If we are honest with ourselves, we all put off the tasks we like the least. I bet you just thought of that task right now…

So how the hell do we go about changing what is so ingrained in us to naturally do?

1. To steal from Nike, JUST DO IT. Start out your day tackling the one thing you have been putting off for heaven knows how long. Schedule time on your calendar, say an hour or two to focus on that one task.
2. If it is a larger project, then spread it out over a few days or weeks (as needed – don’t get carried away). My suggestion would be to do it first thing in the a.m. that is when I am at my most focused. It probably has something to do with the mass amount of caffeine I have consumed.
3. If you are feeling truly introspective, you can write down all the reasons you have avoided that certain task. Is it time? Does it require confronting someone? It is something that does not come naturally to you; such as writing?

If you take my inbox as an example, I know it will take me HOURS to organize it and there are other tasks that are more pressing. Here is the deal though, it hangs over my head and I know that it affects productivity because I spend a lot of my time searching for certain emails. If they were categorized by clients or type of communication, I would be able to find it in less time – leaving more time for those other important tasks.

What do you think? What tips do you have for avoiding procrastination (get it)?

I would never discourage anyone from starting their own business and going out on their own, but I do think it is important to have all the facts before making the leap. Becoming an entrepreneur is easy, succeeding as an entrepreneur is really, really hard.

Here are just a few things you can expect.

1. Work/life balance will never be achieved. As a business owner you are always on, you have to be as issues and opportunities will pop up at all ours of the day or night. A recent Small Biz Musings blog talks about the myth of work/life balance. It will be important to have a conversation with the significant other in your life to prepare them for your soon-to-be crazy schedule. You will need their support and understanding.
2. Your schedule is no longer your own. If a potential client wants to grab drinks at 6:00 p.m., then you will be grabbing drinks at 6:00 p.m. If they want to meet for a 7:00 a.m. meeting because it works best with their schedule…then you will meet them at that time. If you want to land a contract, you need to do whatever it takes. That won’t always be the case, but in the beginning you need to show up and crush it.
3. Cashflow will always freak you out. Your financials will always hang over your head, you will find that you go from sitting quite comfortably to ‘holy shit…we gotta make payroll.’ This does get better, but in the beginning you are investing everything and you’ll be lucky to see a return in the short term.
4. Small business owners are your new family. You are not alone, even though it will certainly feel like it. There are others that have done what you are about to do successfully and they have great advice to give you. There is no how-to manual for entrepreneurs, maybe I should write one…oh hell, I don’t have time for that.
5. Failure is your new norm. It’s ok, because you will learn from it, just don’t be so hard on yourself. How you deal with failure will impact your business’ future. There is such a stigma attached to failure, see it as an opportunity.

My last, perhaps most important piece of advice is to never stop learning. Read everything you can get your hands on and set aside quiet or thinking time for yourself first think in the morning or in the evening. Oh, and always have a bottle of your favorite spirits on hand. You never know when you are going to need it.

What would you add to this list?

I’ve been having a conversation with several other business owners regarding balance and finding that within your life. Can I just say, I think it is utter bullshit? When did work/life balance become a thing? If you want to work all the time, because you love it, then do it. If you want to shut off your phone at 5:30 p.m. and spend time with family or friends, great! Good for you!

What is important to you, isn’t necessarily important to another person. I have always thought work/life balance was a myth, what is important is that you love your life and feel fulfilled. What is listed below, are my non-negotiables, which more than likely aren’t the same as yours. If they are, lets hang out soon – because we are both clearly fun.

1. Enjoy yourself in all that you do. Can you imagine if you spent all day doing a job you hate, it doesn’t matter how much work/life balance you have in your life…you are not going to be happy. However, some don’t have a choice, which means attitude then becomes everything. If you approach work, meetings, conversations with a positive attitude, it will rub off on others around you and even if you are faking it…it starts to feel right. We are wired to see negative and to doubt everything, turn that approach on its head and force positivity.
2. Get some sleep. I love sleep, way more than I did when I was a kid. I take multiple naps on the weekends and it is glorious. I don’t know if there is a set number of hours you should get at night, but you should feel somewhat refreshed in the morning. Otherwise how will you deal with everything the day is going to throw at you? Also, I feel like being positive relies on you being refreshed.
3. Make time for fun. I don’t care if it is forced fun, schedule it. Maybe it is happy hour with friends, a date with your significant other, time set aside for reading, petting a dog – the point is…if you can’t laugh – then how the hell do you deal?
4. Get moving.  I know, I know…this is hilarious coming from me. You don’t need to go run a marathon, but maybe get 10,000 steps in for the day. I like to jump on my elliptical and burn a remarkable 150 calories as I watch funny YouTube videos. I feel good about myself and don’t feel like a lazy cow, so there is that.
5. Go into the woods. I like to spend time in the woods, wrapped in a blanket, reading a good book, enjoying a glass of wine, with a raging fire while surrounded by 6 dogs. This is a very specific formula that you will need to tweak. The point is, find your happy place and go to it often.

Work/life balance just isn’t a thing because in everything I listed above my work is integrated into it. I dream about it, talk about it, reflect on it and work wherever I am. What is most important is that you are happy, it shouldn’t matter how that is achieved or how many hours you spend working verses self-care (which is also BS).

What do you think?

It is part of all PR practitioners jobs to stay up-to-date with current events and we often stumble across interesting stories. This past week is no different, so I offer you the following to entertain you while at your desk or home weathering this snowstorm. My commentary is especially amusing.

1. Really Smart Girl Scouts Sell Cookies Outside Marijuana Stores, Internet Reacts. First off, I am hiring this girl when she is old enough to legally work. She sold 300 boxes in 6 hours. Just genius.
2. Trump Lied About What He Paid For Melania’s Engagement Ring. Guys – Trump lied…WHAT??? I know, it comes as a complete shocker, but at least this time he didn’t offend an entire country or gender…just poor Melania. Anyways the story isn’t nearly as interesting as the headline, but feel free to give it a read.
3. The Trump White House has been plagued by rumors of illicit romances — and now Hope Hicks is at the center. If you don’t have real work to do, maybe this is the only way to entertain yourself? Hope really knows how to pick ’em. Her love interest, Rob Porter, was just accused of physical and emotional abuse by not one…but two ex-wives. Don’t worry, Hope helped him craft an official statement defending himself. So all is well.
4. An Alaska Airlines jet was forced to land after a naked man locked himself in a bathroom (ALK). The dude was in the restroom, what more do you want? At least the flight attendants had rubber gloves.
5. It’s -700 Degrees at the Olympics, but Tonga’s Flag Bearer Gave No F*cks and Went Shirtless. He is on an international stage, might as well do it up. Also, his name is Pita.

Our world is a crazy place, staying informed is a necessity…but also seeing the humor is key to maintaining sanity.

I couldn’t help rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles last night, Nick Foles’ story is just amazing and who doesn’t love a great underdog story? As everyone by now knows, Foles almost walked away from football, he was discouraged, disappointed in his career – spending much of his time on the sideline. We all know how his story ends but the leadership lessons we can glean from it are a valuable reminder to all business owners.

1. Perseverance. At the age of 26 he was going to call it quits, instead he took  time to reflect and decided his story wasn’t over. He listened to those he respected, got away to unplug and then he put his head down and got to work. Anyone running a business has times when they want to call it quits, it’s hard sometimes too hard, but you need to suck it up, think and move forward. It’s what business owners (and quarterbacks) do.
2. Teamwork. We don’t get where we are by ourselves. Just like Nick Foles’ Superbowl win is not his alone, your business is much more than just you. What are the skill sets the company needs? Pulling the right talent together is what makes a company unstoppable.
3. Humility. Understanding that you didn’t get where you are a lone and acknowledging that whenever you get a chance is what will make your company great. Do you know what Nick Foles had to say after winning the Superbowl? “I think the big thing that helped me was knowing that I didn’t have to be Superman. I have amazing teammates, amazing coaches around me. And all I had to do was just go play as hard as I could, and play for one another, and play for those guys.”
4. Adversity. Foles obviously didn’t have the career that people write books about, until now, but what he did have was the ability to see the bigger picture and tackle adversity as it came at him. He went up against Goliath and he won. The key to overcoming adversity is viewing it as a challenge,  not an unsurmountable feat. Take it day-by-day, step-by-step and as always – never stop moving forward.
5. Poise. When I was watching the game, it struck me how Foles approached each play with a sense of calm and calculation, he seemed completely unfazed. Leaders need to have the ability to approach difficult tasks with an analytical mindset, while taking the emotion out of the situation. This is something I work at every day, because the passion that founded our businesses cannot be how we make important decisions.

Sometimes, being the underdog isn’t a bad thing, people will count you out and underestimate you – let that drive you to work even harder at being the leader your company and industry need.